First Day of School…

Senior Pictures
Senior Pictures

Facebook is covered with pictures of folks going back to school.

My son is not going back to college this year.  For the second year, he will be spending fall semester in Heaven.

Had he lived, he would be finishing his accounting degree at West Texas A&M University in Canyon, Texas, possibly with honors.  He was on Dean’s list. He would be graduating in December.  He would then continue with classes for another year to complete his BA in dance. He was a great student.  A prince of a student.  A prince of a guy.

Andrew loved both accounting and dance. Accounting was not a “fall back” for him.  He knew that every dance company and theater company needs a business manager.  With his accounting degree, additional business classes and theater/dance experience, he would be perfect for the job.  While working to continue in his performance career, he could earn money and help the company as the business manager. He also knew that he could only dance for so long and then would need another career.  Again, he could continue to be a part of the industry with the business degree and experience.

Am I sad that he is not at WT this semester?  Of course!  It cuts through me in ways I cannot express. But I know he is in the presence of Christ!  And his completing the degrees is no longer in the plan.

Was it ever in God’s plan?  I don’t know.  I cannot speak to that.  Some parts of theology elude me.  I am not sure what was God’s Plan.

But I know that God was not surprised by what happened.  He did not look down from Heaven and stare in shock at The Accident site.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Psalms 139:13-16 (NIV)


I choose to believe.  I choose to trust God.  I choose to believe and trust God because of what He wrote in His Word.  I cling to His Word.  God knew about The Accident before it happened.  He could have stopped it, but He did not.  I trust Him.  I trust that He loves me and loves Andrew and loves our whole family.  I trust that He will work even this out for my good because I love Him and am called according to His purposes.

And I choose to rejoice in my boys starting OU last week – one on the rugby team; one on the cheer squad, both studying mechanic engineering.  I choose to rejoice that Lyz is starting her first day at the School for Little People.  She is an awesome teacher!  I rejoice that she is healthy enough to work there – a huge improvement over last year.  I choose to rejoice that Adam is starting a new semester of coaching gymnastics at Twistars.  I choose to rejoice that Margaret is staying home this semester and taking time off from school. I choose to rejoice that Meredith is able to stay home and homeschool my grandsons.  I thank God for her amazing husband Mark.


The pictures of others people’s sons going to school today cut my heart and make me so sad.  The pictures of Andrew’s friends heading back to class……..

I choose to stay off Facebook today, the first day back to school.


Andrew Raymond Duncan, Christianity, death of a child, healing, West Texas A&M University


I write about my life, my journey, my family, and my faith. I am wife to one, mom to seven with one in heaven, and grandmother to many. I am also full-time caregiver to my stepmom E who suffers from dementia due to Alzheimer’s. In my spare time I like to read, travel, crochet, bike, and play with our black pug Molly.

Comments (2)

  • Grief does not elude us even though we know our children are with God. We know that even “Jesus wept.” I have learned that it is possible to be filled with both grief and joy. Meanwhile, it is wise not to be on social media where painful reminders are everywhere. God bless you.

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