Cleaning Out a Closet

My three sons and one of our daughters are home for Christmas. Our third without their brother Andrew.

The boys and I just went through his closet. Well, not his closet. He had an apartment that they and my husband cleaned out the day after their brother died. I had gone through and picked out t-shirts I want keep, maybe for a quilt someday. The rest of Andrew’s clothes have been hanging in our guest room closet.
The brothers went through and picked out things they will use. I kept a sweater jacket that is way too big, but I will enjoy wearing it on cold days. I grabbed a couple of big sweaters for his sisters. I’ll give those to my girls next week.

We couldn’t have done this last year or the year before. But we were able to do it this year. No tears. No issues. Just a pile of nice dress shirts, slacks, and jackets.

I am grateful we have healed enough to go through Andrew’s clothes. His siblings will each have some. The rest will go to a family with a house full of teen boys. What they can’t use, they will pass on to others.

For those of you just beginning your grief journey, please know that healing can happen. It doesn’t look like our life before we lost our child, but it can happen. I still have hard days (like yesterday, his birthday). They are fewer than they were and not as bad. My sorrow isn’t as deep and the tears don’t last as long.

Have hope, my grieving friends. May you find peace today.

cleaning, Grief, hope


I write about my life, my journey, my family, and my faith. I am wife to one, mom to seven with one in heaven, and grandmother to many. I am also full-time caregiver to my stepmom E who suffers from dementia due to Alzheimer’s. In my spare time I like to read, travel, crochet, bike, and play with our black pug Molly.

Comments (6)

  • I have a sweatshirt of my son’s that I wear, it comforts me. I call it my hug from Jordan.

    It’s fun to see that Santa fills your stocking with beef jerry also… do you get pistachios too? 🙂

    Merry Christmas, God Bless!

  • Six months after Leah died we sorted through her clothes, some items went in her memory box, her sisters and cousins chose items to keep and the remainder went to a Charity Shop that supports the Children’s Hospice where she died. However, after that the sorting ground to a halt; her desk where she studied every day remains untouched, as does her drawer full of medication. Some things seem easier – or more straightforward – than others!

  • Merry Christmas! Healing comes slow. My daughter has been with Jesus for 12 years. Some of her belongings are still in storage containers in our basement. I mentioned to our son that when I clean out the basement in Spring it is time to get them out of there. He said that he isn’t ready.
    Maybe by Spring, he will be. Who knows. We all heal at different times.
    I was baking Almond Poppyseed Bread for Christmas a few days ago and had a moment.
    Amanda was always the family baker. She baked that bread every Christmas for the extended family. Baking it will always bring back those happy memories.

    • My husband and I decided we needed to do this if the boys could.

      Each family must decide when and how to go through their child’s things. I pray your son is ready in spring if that’s what you need to do.

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