Stop the Gossiping 

I’ve posted about this before. I speak as a mom who has experienced the death of my son. 

But it seems not everyone got the message. 

A young man in our community died. Two in the past week in fact. One, a college student, was shot in a robbery gone bad. The other, a 13 year old boy, died in a freak accident. Their families are hurting. 

Love them well, my friends. 

We are naturally curious. But speculation about exactly what happened is not helpful. If you are texting or calling around to find out exactly what happened you are gossiping. Stop it! Stop it! 

Just stop it!

So, you want to know the gritty details about their deaths? How will knowing details change the fact that two families are grieving? 

You want to know so you can tell everyone else? How will knowing details help the families? 

Does it make you feel important to be the one “in the know”? Are you so self-centered that you think you need to know details so you can tell everyone else? 

Or do you really think if you know the details you can keep tragedy from striking your family? While these parents couldn’t protect their kid, if you know the details you can protect yours?

What exactly happened? I’ll tell you. 

Two young men died. Two mothers were told their sons are dead. Two families are planning funerals and picking out caskets. Two families are broken-hearted today and in need of love and respect. 

Two families need us to love them and pray for them. 

Instead of spending time and energy gossiping, pray. 

Buy them a gift card to an area restaurant so they can feed their families. 

Offer to mow their lawn. 

If you know them well, offer to clean their laundry or take their other kids to do something fun, something normal. 

Send them a card telling them how amazing their sons were. 

Go to the funeral and show respect. 

Send them a photo and a story about a time you spent with their son. 

Love them. Love them well. 

And stop spreading gossip! 

Stop speculating! 

Just stop it!!!

(Note: I don’t have an issue with you being naturally curious. I do have an issue with posting and talking and speculating about things you do not know.)

Grief, love thy neighbor


I write about my life, my journey, my family, and my faith. I am wife to one, mom to seven with one in heaven, and grandmother to many. I am also full-time caregiver to my stepmom E who suffers from dementia due to Alzheimer’s. In my spare time I like to read, travel, crochet, bike, and play with our black pug Molly.

Comments (16)

  • Thank you for. Writing this Kathleen, it was meant to be shared. Enough hurt in this life without adding more sorrow to these families, God Bless each family member and be with them in this time of sorrow. I pray for rack of these family members as they go through their loses. Lord wrap your loving and healing arms around them,I pray this in your most holy name, Amen

  • Thank you for sharing this Kathleen. I have so many examples of people wanting to “know” what happened and how. One woman actually looked at me as though I had three heads and my daughters viewing ….”you don’t want to know the details?” she said. The what and the how do not matter. What matters is our children are gone. Remember with us, cry with us, grieve with us, or express your sympathy….otherwise, butt out. This is not a situation where satisfying curiosities is relevant, it’s selfish and painful to those who live with this lose. My heart is with you always.

  • Pastor Lukus Countermann, who used to preach at Wichita Falls Baptist said it best. The only reason you need details concerning any sensitive situation is if you are part of the “problem” or the “solution”. Otherwise, butt out. I practice this to the best of my ability. Yes, I do have a natural curiosity. And yes, I would love to know details. But I also know that would not be in my best interest or anyone else’s for that matter.

  • Thank you. After losing our son I am hyper-sensitive to people talking about other families. When I hear, “What happened?” my thoughts are – another family is devastated and broken-hearted. Nothing else matters. Until you know the pain of losing a child… you don’t know how those kinds of words hurt. Thanks for posting.

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