Unfortunately, not so unique 

Yesterday I shared things that make me unique. Unusual things I’ve done in my life. I really have a wonderful life.

But it’s not all been peaches and cream. 

Here is list of things I’ve also dealt with in my life. Unfortunately, they are not unusual; many people deal with similar issues every day.

Growing up in an abusive home. My mom was a mean drunk.

My parents separated when I was ten and divorced a couple of years later. Two of us lived with mom, two with dad.

Disfunctional extended family relationships.

Feeling like a total reject in high school. I was a nerd with few friends.

Violent sexual assault at age 18. I came home to a man with a knife in my bedroom. I’ll spare you the details. I am grateful to have lived through it.

Poor choices during college including drinking way too much and giving myself to too many men.

During our almost 34 years of marriage we’ve faced:

Marriage issues

Financial issues

Job loss

Parenting difficulties

Having to move from homes we loved and saying goodbye to dear friends

The death of my mom when I was 34. I lost my dad and my in-laws over the next dozen years.

Teenagers. Lots of teenagers. And all that entails: anger, attitudes, rebellion, stinky boys, sports, music lessons, homework, braces, broken hearts, and more.


Suicide of a family member.

Attempted suicide by another.

The Accident in which our 20 year old son died.

Helping our other children deal with the death of the brother.

Mental illness in people we love.

Deaths of too many friends to cancer, addiction, and other causes.

Health issues – me, Ron, and some of our kids.

The truth is life is full of the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

I could spend time thinking and talking about all the horrible things that have happened to us: car wrecks, illnesses, rejection, hurt inflicted by church people, and so much more!

I could dwell on bad things we are facing today: Ron is currently recovering from surgery on his “good” foot. He has lost the ability to hike and do many of the things we used to do. We have tuition to pay this fall and don’t know how we will pay it. Our daughter needs shoulder surgery, in a different state, requiring me to stay a week or more to help her.

I could fret and worry about these things.

Instead I choose to trust God. And to think about those things that are true and noble and right and pure and lovely and admirable and excellent and praiseworthy.

I choose to remember the fun things and the good times rather than the late night visits to the ER for stitches, casts, and snake bite treatment.

I deal with the hard stuff when it comes. I don’t worry about what might be. Ron and I work together and usually are in agreement. We trust God, talk through decisions, and give each time to process.

We both know how to find and utilize godly counsel. We’ve taught our kids that counseling is beneficial, wise and godly counsel. And we’ve offered to pay for it whenever they need it.

Yes, I’ve had hard things in my life. And I’ve had some wonderful adventures.

I’m grateful.



I write about my life, my journey, my family, and my faith. I am wife to one, mom to seven with one in heaven, and grandmother to many. I am also full-time caregiver to my stepmom E who suffers from dementia due to Alzheimer’s. In my spare time I like to read, travel, crochet, bike, and play with our black pug Molly.

Comments (8)

Leave a Reply

Some of the links on KathleenBDuncan.com are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, this site could earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.
Copyright © Kathleen B Duncan 2021. All rights reserved.
Website management and design by Go Forth Online Now go Forth Online Now
and their associates.

Get the Newsletter!

%d bloggers like this: