A dear friend of mine lost family members in a plane crash a few years ago, including children and grandchildren.
She told me that the loss of a child is like putting on a very heavy overcoat that you will wear the rest of your life. It changes you forever. You sill function and go on with life. But the coat is always there. Some days it is heavy, other days it is lighter.
Over time, it does get lighter.
This helps me a lot. It also gives me a shorthand I can use when people ask how I am doing. For example, tonight when out oldest daughter called, I could tell her the last couple of days have been “very heavy coat days” and she understands what that means.
I have had a few “light coat” days, like when Ron and I have gone biking or running in the beautiful fall weather. Or when I came home to a surprise of all my fall decorations out!
But the coat is always there. I will wear it always.