Rejoice in Suffering

Made it through the holidays with some joy and laughter. Enjoyed my family and having friends over on Andrew’s birthday/Christmas Eve. Loved having our kids’ friends drop by all the time and often going to sleep to the sound of laughter and water fights in the kitchen.

Then a very busy week putting finishing touches on a big benefit/community arts event in our son’s name. The benefit evening was a great success and lots of fun.

Now I just want to sit in my chair in my room and read or be still. I like the quiet. I don’t want to go out to eat or talk to anyone or be a part of all the activities.

I think I have just now hit a time of stillness since Andrew’s accident in August: services & arrangements followed by a new semester and getting kids settled in new routines, a couple of trips to see our kids who live out of town, helping my stepmom move out if state, holidays followed by more holidays followed by the benefit.

This is the first time of real stillness.

Started Grief share class at church last week. I was able to encourage others and was glad I went. I have a new Bible study starting this week and a friend is joining it for the first time. And two appointments to workout with trainer in prep for upcoming triathlons. But when I get home, I just want to sit.

Seems like I can laugh and have fun for a bit, then I am exhausted.

I have peace and calm. Some sadness. But mainly just want to be in quiet and stillness.

It is hard to explain to the four adult children living our home or my husband. Friends don’t understand what I feel. I am not depressed. I just like quiet and stillness.

I just wanted to share.

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 

Romans 5:3-5

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