At a church social Sunday night, a kind man tried to comfort me about Andrew’s death. He knew that this past week was the anniversary of The Accident and knew that those special days can be hard. He was trying to be kind.
I suppose it seemed odd to him that we can mention our children, including Andrew without tears or sorrow showing on our faces. We can go to parties and laugh and have fun even though our son is dead. (Hint: He is not dead but living in Heaven!)
God has healed my heart. And we love to laugh! Our kids – all of them – have given us great joy and great stories over the years. When talking about my kids I often smile. I love them bunches.
After asking what had happened, how Andrew had died, he said, “Well, God needed him in heaven more than you needed him on earth.”
NO! Just NO!! God is God all by Himself. He does not need anything. He did not need Andrew in heaven.
God does want fellowship with us. He desires that all would serve Him. He loves us and wants to be with us, but He does not need us.
For those who think that maybe Andrew and the others died so that one more person could come to know Christ – Please know that the only person that had to die so someone could be saved is Jesus Christ, who went like a lamb to the slaughter. He willingly gave His life so that we could know God and have relationship with Him. Because of Christ’s death, my son has eternal life in Heaven.
For God to kill my son so that someone else could be saved, it would have been human sacrifice, child sacrifice — My child being sacrificed for someone else to gain salvation.
God does not want child sacrifice. Jeremiah tells us God never considered child sacrice. Here is a great article on the subject and here is a list of scriptures on the subject. God does not take one child so that another person can be saved, get their life in order, or gain freedom from addiction.
God may bring good things out of ugly stuff, and He promises to do just that – His Word says that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. But I do not believe that God killed my son for the good of another person. (I don’t know why Andrew died, other than physics and that we live in a broken, fallen world.) I believe that every death goes through His hands, His filter. He will use things that happen in this broken, fallen world for our good and His glory. But He did not take Andrew so that someone else could be saved.
Another time someone said, “God needed another angel in heaven.”
Andrew was not an angel on earth, he did not become an angel when he went to heaven. He did not get wings. He is not an angel.
Folks refer to the five killed in The Accident as the “Texas Angels”. I think this is sweet; they were all kind, talented young people. But it is not an accurate theological statement; they are not now angels. They are still humans, created in the image of God.
Andrew was and is a Child of the King! A man made righteous through the blood of Christ! A joint Heir with Christ! A member of God’s household built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets with Christ Jesus as the chief cornerstone!
Angels are created beings. Here is a long list of verses that reference angels: http://www.openbible.info/topics/angels. None of them mention a human becoming an angel or angel becoming human. If God did need another angel, he could have spoken a word and one would be created. He did not kill my son so He could have another angel.
So, please do not tell me that God killed my son so that someone else could get saved at his memorial service. Or because He needed him in Heaven. Or that He needed another angel.
When I meet you, and you feel a need to acknowledge our loss, it would be best to stick with simply saying something like, “I am so sorry. I would love to have known your son.” or “That must have been painful to walk through. Is there something we can do now to help?” or simply “I am sorry.”
Please do not try to comfort me with reasons why this accident happened. It happened. I will not understand “WHY” here on earth. Though your intentions may be good, your attempts at explaining the secrets things of God do not comfort me.
God’s ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. The secret things belong to God. We will not understand all that He does on earth; however, I know He is loving, compassionate, just, wise, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love, and full of mercy. He uses junk to make beautiful things. He can and will use The Accident for our good and His glory. He promises in His Word that He will do so. Seeing good things come out of loss does not mean that we can understand the why’s of our child’s death.
This study will help you understand what the Bible says about why people die, who goes to heaven, angels, forgiveness, and how to live with the pain of loss.
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