The last four days have been weepy. Silly thing have brought me to tears. Small things. Memories. Songs. Writing this post. Sometimes it feels good to have a cry. Other times it’s exhausting. These past few days the tears have been good. Cleansing even.
We sat in the back at church yesterday because I knew I would cry. We have been traveling. When we go back to our home church after a long trip, I always cry more.
Last month, the last day before we left on this trip, I cried during service. A few folks said something. One gal lovingly asked if she could give me a hug. “You look like you could use one.” I love her for that. My friends are so kind! Comments like, “I’m sorry” and “I can’t imagine how you feel. Please know we care” really do mean a bunch to me.
If you were to stand on the platform and watch me during the song part of worship, you would see me smiling, joyfully praising God. And you might see tears at the same time. I love to worship in song, to lift my hands in praise, worship and surrender. Joy shines on my face even while the tears flow.
It felt strange sitting in back. I suppose it doesn’t matter if people see me cry. Next time it’s back up front for me!
Let them see my tears. Let them know I still grieve, still suffer! But let them also know that there is peace to be found in the midst of suffering if we are in Christ!!
Yes, my son died. Yes, it hurts. But YES! Jesus is still LORD and God is still on the throne! YES! I can still worship my Lord and Savior and experience the joy of freedom in Christ even with tears streaming down my cheeks!
I know my Redeemer lives! I know my son is with Christ! I know this life is but a vapor and we shall meet Him face to face one day.
I pray that my tears shout these truths to all who see me as I worship each Sunday morning. Tears and joy and all.
If you don’t have a church home, please find a bible-teaching fellowship and join them next weekend.