Another wonderful quote posted on the While We’re Waiting page. This one is from H. Norman Wright. We can experience “recovery” from profound loss with the help of Christ. We can go on with life – full and joyful life! I have experienced such recovery. I am walking in it. Yes, I continue to recover and have hard days, but I have been clothed with joy by my Father.
Recovery will not mean a once-and-for-all conclusion to your grief, especially with any loss regarding a child. It’s a twofold process: (1) regaining your ability to function as you once did, and (2) resolving and integrating your loss into your life.
In a sense, you will never recover completely, because you’ll never be exactly the same as you were before the loss. Your loss changes you. As someone once asked in a counseling session, ‘If I can’t be the way I was before, and I never recover completely, what is all this about recovery? I’m confused. What does it mean? How can you recover, but not fully?’
Recovery means you get your capabilities and attributes back so that you can use them. It means that you reach a point where you’re no longer fighting your loss, but accepting it. Acceptance doesn’t mean you would have chosen it or even that you like it, but you’ve learned to live with it as a part of your life. Recovery doesn’t mean you don’t mourn occasionally and watch out for holidays and special dates. It means you learn to go on with your life.
Recovery means reinvesting in life. A newfound source of joy is possible. But you could very well feel uncomfortable with whatever is new. You may think that experiencing the joys of life again is somehow wrong. Besides, if you begin to hope or trust again, you could experience another loss.
I’ve talked to some people who never want another child or who distance themselves from their remaining children to protect themselves. But there still is life, and in the midst of sorrow there can be joy.
The Lord is the source of our joy. The psalmist stated that He ‘clothes us with joy.’ God extends to each of us the invitation to reinvest in life.
~H. Norman Wright, Missing the Child You Love
Hello, my name is Kathleen. I’m a recovering mom-in-grief.