To all my friends under age 30:
Hey. You need to call your mom this weekend.
Don’t just call to tell her happy Mother’s Day.
Call to talk with her.
Take time to think before you call. Call her when you are in a place to talk and listen; take time out of your busy life. Don’t call when driving with friends, while at a restaurant or backstage.
Plan some things to tell her.
1 Tell her you love her because ______________.
2 Tell her you remember that time she did _____________ for/with you and you are grateful she did that.
3 Tell her you would like to do ____________with her this summer or over the next year.
Then tell her what’s going on with you. Tell her about your friends/roommate/adventures. Tell her about what you plan to do in the next few weeks and what you are excited about.
Ask what she has planned for the next week or so. Ask her about her favorite memories of her mom or childhood. Ask what she is excited about. Listen to her.
Take time to talk with her. She loves you even if she sucks at showing it.
If she messed up when you were growing up…oh well. We all do. She was doing the best she could with what she knew at the time. She may have made big, terrible mistakes. Forgive her mistakes and start fresh today. Give her a chance to do better in the future. (And BTW maybe you weren’t that easy to parent.) But…You are an adult now. Learn to forgive others, including your mom, for their failures. Give them opportunity to grow and change. Don’t hold grudges or expect the worst, even from your mom.
If she was a great mom, she may not know it or feel it. Tell her. Thank her. Be specific. Encourage her. Your mom encouraged you in many ways during your childhood. Now is your turn to also compliment and encourage her. Even moms are insecure and need love, kindness, and compliments.
Oh! And do it again the next week.
Posting memes about Mother’s Day isn’t enough to show you love her. We need to hear it from you. And we need to hear it often.