Did you notice that grief and death were nowhere in the list of topics we discussed in our 20+ hour drive home last weekend?
Yes, we remember our son. Yes, we still hurt and get sad sometimes. Yes, I think of him everyday. But grief no longer overwhelms me. Death and grief are not the focus of my life. Actually, we rarely talk about grief, The Accident or sadness on our travels. If Andrew is mentioned, it is usually with a smile. Or even a giggle. He
brought brings joy to our lives, as all our adult children do.
In Christ, we have hope, joy, and peace. Our son was a follower of Jesus. As a result, he in the presence of Christ now. Someday I will join him there, because I, too, am a disciple of Christ. There is great joy and hope in knowing that I have eternal life.
A month or so after The Accident, I asked Ron if he wanted to talk about it. “No, I don’t. I don’t want to talk about it. Or about death. But if you do – any time you do – I am willing to listen,” was his reply. Just one of many reasons I love my husband.
There are times when we see something in our travels or read a post on Facebook that reminds us of our son, and Ron will comment. As I wrote last week, I cried in a hotel in New York after hearing a song from the memorial service. He held me while I cried and loved me well. But tears are rare these days. Joy, smiles and laughter are common.
We like to laugh and tell stories when we are together as a family. Our kids’ lives are intertwined, so a story about one might include or lead to a story about the others. Andrew’s name comes up often.
However, I try to be careful not to mention him right before we go to bed. I don’t want us to be sad last thing before sleep.
I made an exception last night. I was looking for a video of Andrew getting pepper sprayed… Voluntarily. (It’s a funny story and I had a good reason to be looking for it, but could not find that particular video. I hope to share it when I do find it.) I found a video of him and one of his favorite partners dancing for the final in one of their dance classes at West Texas A&M University. I had never seen this video. I love the smile he gives her towards the end. Johanna and Andrew were dear friends. Watching it brought joy to us both just before we went to sleep.
I have not learned the best way to embed a video in a blog article. So here is the link. And another shorter one of the two dancing for the midterm in that same partnering class. The class was spring of 2013.
Andrew was known not only as a dancer, but also for his silly pickup lines. As I was looking for the dance link, I found this one of him delivering a favorite of his. I had seen it before, and it always makes me smile!
I hope you enjoy seeing a bit of our son’s personality in these videos. I am grateful that his friends have posted these for us to enjoy. They help me remember that he is still alive! Even more so now, in heaven!
Note: the featured photo is Andrew as Macavity in Cats.