Throwback Thursday – How did he die?

Last February a young man in our community died. I heard many asking how he died. Was he sick? Was it suicide? I came home and wrote this article.  

If you must ask a question of newly bereaved parent or sibling, try asking, “Could you tell me about your son? What was he like?” The details of his death are irrelevant if you truly want to love them and comfort them. 

I am posting it again because another mom will be burying her son this week. And she is hurting.

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How did he died?

Was he sick?
Was it suicide?
Was it a heart attack?
Did he die instantly?
Who found him?
Did he have a stroke?
Did they try CPR?

3 thoughts on “Throwback Thursday – How did he die?

  1. Kathleen, I think that what you’ve said here is really important for people to hear.
    Our teenage daughter Leah had a “good death” in that it was planned – to a certain extent – and she wasn’t afraid to die. For many bereaved parents this is definitely not the case and they are NOT ready to discuss the details until they have processed these excruciatingly painful events for themselves.
    Like you, writing is one of the ways in which I cope. The past few days I became increasingly aware that I hadn’t written a very personal blog post in over two weeks. This worried me a little bit as I thought “Am I losing the ability to write?”.
    Then my husband and I got lost in a maze in torrential rain and he said “This just about sums up our lives this past two years.” and I grinned and said “Great, now I know what to write about – if we ever get out of here!”


  2. It doesn’t matter how you lost your child. The heartbreak is he’s gone and you have a hole in your heart. It’s been almost three months and some days I feel like my heart is breaking. I miss him so bad. It’s hard to go on without him, but I’m trying. Just show empathy to that parent and listen to her or him discuss their child.

    Liked by 1 person

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