And … Cue sobbing

Some of you read about my weekend, the TEXAS tragedy. It was a tough weekend. But it was not about  my grief. We were being led by God to try to help others, and it was hard.

Yesterday was a full day. A very busy day. 

Today … I sobbed. 

Sometimes, in my grief journey, I just need a good cry. Sometimes nothing major has happened, nothing special set it off. I just need to cry.

Today was different. Today there was a reason for my tears. I have been through a lot these past four days.

The past few days were tough. We saw God working. We saw people hurting. We loved them and tried to be led by the Holy Spirit. We drove. We worshipped. We played a bit. We had dinner with old friends then drove some more last night. We did not rest much. Parts were awful, parts were beautiful. But they were tough days.

Here’s the deal: When I know it’s coming – the tears, the sobbing, the intense emotions – I find a safe place. A place where I can sob and pour my heart out to my Daddy. Then I rest.

Today was one of those days.

I was alone in a hotel with no place I had to be. I ate a good, healthy, late breakfast. I listened to Chris Tomlin and read a great book about another dad’s grief journey. I sobbed, I prayed, I worshipped. Then I slept.

I awoke refreshed and joyful.

“Consider others more valuable than yourself”

I have learned I need to hold it together sometimes. For others. There are times I must be brave and strong. I must care for others who are hurting.

But I cannot do that too long. I cannot hold it together while hurting for too long. That is not healthy. It is not healthy to hold emotion in too long.

It is healthy and healing to feel the emotions and to share them our Father. He knows. He understands. He cares. And He loves.

But I must find a safe, appropriate time and place to feel it all and to sob.

So that’s what I did today. It was beautiful.

8 thoughts on “And … Cue sobbing

  1. Pingback: Traveling in 2015 | kathleenbduncan

  2. For many years my special place to mourn was the Kankakee River. My son and I spent a great deal of time together there and after his death it seem like a safe haven for me to go and release my emotions. When I felt it coming on I knew I had to go release it in a place where I wouldn’t be interrupted. Once it began to flow I wanted it all to come out.
    God often leads us into “tough weekends” where we have the opportunity to not only help others, but also help ourselves in the process. You do a great deal of helping through your blog and your travels, but its good that you take the time to attend to your inner self and pour your heart out to God.
    You and your family are in my prayers this month.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Kathleen,
    I went through the video you attached a few posts back- Be thou my vision- how did you even know that was my favourite hymn ( song) and I wanted to hear just that song that day. I got so engrossed in the song that I couldnt comment then.
    What is the new Texas tragedy ? When I think of people a 100 or 150 years ago, the ones who walked the wildernesses, fighting illnesses, battles, enemies, and a lot of other things, things we don’t even notice these days perhaps- maybe our own losses or sadnesses are not so sad any more.
    God bless you on your journey towards your own healing and in the process, your healing of others through Him.


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