My morning started off emotional. Tears. Lots of tears. Tears that had little to do with grief. Other stuff gets to me more easily now.
Then I decided to work on a few things like emails, responding to blog comments, etc. I needed the link to my son’s memorial service for something. And found…
It’s been deleted. Gone.
I know the theatre that posted it may want only theater-related things on their account. I know they may need the storage space on their account. I know it is their site and their right to control what is on it. But it shocked me that it was gone.
It’s had thousands of views.
And I was frustrated because it’s listed in my ebook! Now folks will just see “file not found” or links to the current shows at the theatre.
Plus, I watch it every few months.
I prayed. Took some deep breaths, then called the theatre director.
They had deleted it two weeks ago for exactly the reasons I thought. They didn’t realize anyone viewed it any longer. They had given us a copy on a disc and didn’t think it was a problem to remove it from online. They worked with me to open a new YouTube Account and posted it there, where it can stay up forever. I appreciate their help. They really are kind and caring people who loved my son. Their kindness and love is a huge part of why Andrew enjoyed working with them.
You see, I was hurt, shocked, upset. But rather than being overcome by my emotions and lashing out, I gave them a chance to explain and help fix it.
I get hurt so easily now; though I have experienced healing, I was wounded and scarred by my son’s death. Being aware of this, I try not to lash out in my hurt.
It worked out this time. I hope I remember to do the next right thing the next time I’m hurt or shocked or kicked in the gut. The offending person may not have meant to hurt me. There actions were probably not even about me at all. I want to extend grace to all as it has been extended to me.
Here is a link to the video on my new YouTube channel. I’ll edit the eBook this weekend to add it.
Grace. I’ve said many times these past two years, “I have no idea how to define GRACE. But I’ve experienced it again and again and again.” Grace received means grace must be extended. Today I extended grace. And it all turned out just fine.