When trying to comfort, console, or empathize with a grieving parent…
Please do not compare the death of a child to when …
Your child graduated high school
Your child went off to college
Your child married
Your child moved across the country for a new job
You can call, text, email and even visit your child. Our child will never call, text, or email again. We will see our child again only when we join them in heaven.
Please do not say you understand because you lost…
Your favorite cat
Your loyal dog
Your beloved lizard
Your pet goldfish
The impact of losing a pet compares to losing a child like the impact of being hit by a water balloon compares to being hit by a tsunami.
Please do not liken child loss to the loss of …
Your aged Aunt Bertha
Your wonderful grandfather
Your distant cousin
Your best friend
The wounds of losing a child are like none other. They leave a hole in the soul of a parent that only God can heal. Even then, there will be a scar forever.
Each of these other things may hurt. They may cause you pain. They may cause you to grieve. But please do not try to compare your pain to that of losing a child.
When trying to comfort, console, or empathize with a grieving parent, the best thing to say is simply, “I am so sorry for your loss.”
Bereaved parents say among ourselves, “Only those of us who have lost a child understand our pain. Other people just don’t get it…and we hope they never do.”
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