This is truth: The death of my child changed me.
Since the death of my son…
I am more vulnerable.
I am more sensitive.
My faith is stronger.
I have lost my innocence; I know bad things happen.
I have a hard time listening to small talk or caring about trivial things.
I have difficulty going new places.
I often have trouble sleeping.
My mind is on eternal things.
I crave quiet and peace.
I cry easily. Maybe not in front you, but if I am hurt, the tears come when I am alone.
I am insecure regarding whether others like or care about me.
I am weak, not a word that used to describe me, but that is who I am now.
Some of these changes are good. I am grateful for a stronger faith. I’m glad to be more sensitive, especially to the needs of others around me. Heaven and eternity are more real to me, and that is a good thing.
Some of the other changes are not good. I’m working on dealing with my fears, anxiety, and insecurity. I am choosing recovery and choosing peace, God’s peace.
The truth is that death of my child changed me. It does not define me, but I am forever changed.
If you have experienced the death of a child may I introduce you to While We’re Waiting? They are a faith-based ministry to bereaved parents. You can find them on Facebook and at www.whilewerewaiting.org