What If?

My husband wrote this earlier this last night. He said, “I’m not there yet, but I am walking towards this.” 

God is working in our lives to conform us to the image of Christ. He is working in us to make these things reality. We are willing to have Him use suffering in our lives to mold and shape us while bringing Himself more glory. Are you willing? Will you let the Creator work in and through you? 

If you accept the Biblical perspective, 
If you are honest, open-minded, and willing,
Suffering has the potential for priceless value. 

Don’t get me wrong – 
I’m tired of it; 
I don’t seek any more of it. 
I miss my son.
“Death, where is thy sting?” 
was Paul’s rhetorical question (1 Cor. 15:55), 
I answer, 
“Right here, you #*&%@, and it stings like hell”. 

Yet, God can work 
through our suffering - if we cooperate - 
“So that we may be mature and complete, 
not lacking anything” (James 1:4)
“God…will himself restore you, and make you
strong, firm, and steadfast.” (1 Peter 5:6-10)
“Suffering produces perseverance…character… 
hope that does not disappoint”
That alone would be awesome – would it not?

What if God “works in all things”,
Even my painful loss, 
Not only for MY good (Roman 8:28)
But for even greater good for others?

Can my clay jar of grief (2 Cor. 4:7-18)
Carry a treasure of mercy and grace to someone else?

Certainly, we are
Pressed, but not crushed,
Perplexed, but not in despair,
Persecuted, but not abandoned
Struck down, but not destroyed.

We wear the death of our child 
like a wet overcoat,
While Paul 
“always carried around … the death of Jesus” 
Can we, like Paul, 
have the Life of Christ revealed in us - 
in the very heart of our grief and suffering?

Will we say, “we do not lose heart”.
Outwardly wasting away in grief,
Understanding that is temporary
Yet inwardly being renewed day by day,
Understanding this is eternal.

Will we see that our light and momentary troubles
Are achieving for us an eternal glory
That far outweighs them all

Will we fix our eyes on what is unseen:
Immanuel, God with us, ruler of 
the Kingdom of Heaven, which is 
“now among us”

Christianity, Grief, healing, healing in grief, Loss of a child, Scripture, support for parents who lost a child


KathleenBDuncan

I write about my life, my journey, my family, and my faith. I am wife to one, mom to seven with one in heaven, and grandmother to many. I am also full-time caregiver to my stepmom E who suffers from dementia due to Alzheimer’s. In my spare time I like to read, travel, crochet, bike, and play with our black pug Molly.

Comments (13)

  • I always just want to ask, why? Why does He need more glory? Why do some people seem to be His target for suffering more than others? Is it because He knows we are willing to bear up under the weight of it and bring Him more glory than others would? Because, if so, I would like to take my bulls-eye patch off now. Or would I? Would I really take it off if I could see what He is truly doing with my suffering? I lost my 21 year old son 8 weeks ago today and found myself offended when I overheard my sister remark to someone that if anybody’s faith could withstand this, it was mine! So because I already had faith, makes me a good candidate for more suffering?!? So many questions, so much to be worked on but I was already exhausted from being a divorced not by choice single mom for 17 years almost and I just wish God could have been happy with who I was already and for the others affected by my son’s loss that He is working on, I wish He could have found a different way to achieve those things in their lives.

    • Stacy,

      I am sorry. I’m sorry for your pain!

      No! God does not take our kids because we are strong enough to handle it! No, it’s not because of your faith that your son died. Nor because of your lack of faith.

      When sin came into the world, the Tree of Life in the garden was no longer available for us to eat from. Death entered the world. We die. People die. Sin results in death. The worldwide condition of sin results in death. That’s why our kids – and our parents, siblings, friends, and others – all die. Some sooner than others.

      So, no, I don’t believe that our sons are dead because we are strong or because God wants to kill people so He will get more glory.

      I do believe that because of Who He is, I will praise Him. I want to live a life that gives Him glory. Not because my son is dead, but because God alone is worthy of glory and honor and majesty. He alone is faithful, true, and just. He alone is good. He is love.

      And because of who God is, I will praise Him in the storm. I will live a life that glorifies Him as best as I am able. I will trust Him and love Him. Even in the midst of my pain.

  • There is nothing like that moment when you realize that God is stronger than our suffering—so much so that He can transform us into something beautiful through it. Your blog has encouraged so many who wrestle with heart-wrenching grief. You and your husband are being shaped into beautiful diamonds to reflect God’s glory.

    • As you’ve probably figured out reading my blog the past couple of years, I love my man. But when he showed me this last night, I was blown away! So much truth! And so many challenges for me. Will I walk in these truths or not? It will take faith and work. I will try.

  • The answer to your question is yes but it is difficult to be the subject of refinement and requires a daily reliance on the creator for physical, emotional, and spiritual support.

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