A gal wrote on my blog today:

“I always just want to ask, why? Why does He need more glory? Why do some people seem to be His target for suffering more than others? Is it because He knows we are willing to bear up under the weight of it and bring Him more glory than others would? Because, if so, I would like to take my bulls-eye patch off now. Or would I? Would I really take it off if I could see what He is truly doing with my suffering? I lost my 21 year old son 8 weeks ago today and found myself offended when I overheard my sister remark to someone that if anybody’s faith could withstand this, it was mine! So because I already had faith, makes me a good candidate for more suffering?!? So many questions, so much to be worked on …. and I just wish God could have been happy with who I was already and for the others affected by my son’s loss that He is working on, I wish He could have found a different way to achieve those things in their lives.”

I answered her. Then I thought more about it. 

Here is my longer answer:

I am sorry. I’m sorry for your pain! I am sorry your son died. 

No! God does not take our kids because we are strong enough to handle it! No, it’s not because of your faith that your son died. Nor because of your lack of faith. God didn’t take our kids just so He could get glory or so that He could do a work in us or those around us. No, you don’t have a supernatural bullseye on your back at which God is shooting suffering and torment for His own pleasure.

When sin came into the world, according to Genesis, the Tree of Life in the garden was no longer available for us to eat from. God saw that man had eaten from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and made man leave the garden. Man had been told to not eat of that tree; he disobeyed. He sinned. 

Because of man.s disobedience (sin) the Tree of Life was no longer available to man. Death entered the world. We die. People die. Sin results in death. The worldwide condition of sin results in death. That’s why our kids – and our parents, siblings, friends, and others – all die. Some sooner than others. 

So, no, I don’t believe that our sons are dead because we are strong or because God wants to kill people so He will get more glory or teach us a lesson. 

I do believe that He will use ugly things in my life – things like a violent sexual assault at age 18, my parents’ divorce, addiction in those I love, mental illness in ones I care about, job losses, financial difficulties, and even the deaths of my parents, friends, and my son – He will use ugly things to conform me to the image of Christ. He can and does work in all things for my good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose. 

I don’t believe He caused all those things. I do believe He knew about each of them beforehand. I do believe He never left me or forsook me. I do believe that His promises are true.

And because of His great love for us, He sent Jesus to become sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God and may eat from the Tree of Life in the New Heavens and New Earth someday. Jesus came, lived as man, died, was buried, and rose again that we might have eternal life beginning today. 

I do believe that because of who He is, I will praise Him. I want to live a life that gives Him glory. Not because my son is dead, but because God alone is worthy of glory and honor and majesty. He alone is faithful, true, and just. He alone is good. He is love. 

And because of who God is, I will praise Him in the storm. I will live a life that glorifies Him as best as I am able. I will trust Him and love Him. Even in the midst of my pain.

3 thoughts on “Why?

  1. Oh Ladies! The three of us stand together with our losses of our sons. My Ethan has been gone nearly 6 years now.

    I think that the “…if anyone’s faith can withstand this…” was a compliment. A compliment that the sister sees you and is in awe of your faith and the sister thinks she is not filled with enough faith to survive a loss like this.

    I agree with Miss Kathleen and I have not seen the death of my son as punishment for Ethan nor for me. I, too, agree that everything that comes across God’s desk and free will gets in the way. Often the free will of others with less faith in the good Lord and His teachings. But I realized that I am not the first to suffer the loss of my son, as a matter of fact He lost His son, too. And I have held on to my faith… faith that my son’s death was not in vain… and it has not been.

    I know it is a new and fresh open wound for the mumma who asked ‘Why?’ But I pray that there will be light at the end of tunnel that will lead her to where she needs to be. I pray that, as the weeks go on this mumma will settle things and come to adjust better to the new realities that lay ahead of her. It’s not going to happen over night, but we are here for you… miss Stacy. Even if it is say, you are not alone.

    I am sorry for a new comer to this club Miss Kathleen and I belong to. May your photos spark memories that help you turn the sad tears into happy tears as she remembers her son. ❤



  2. Kathleen, thank you for replying and for extending that reply into a blog post. I know all of the above, in my head, it’s my broken heart that is having the problem, remembering and believing that God is good, that He loves me, so much that He gave up HIS one and only son to redeem me from the fall and to redeem my son. The enemy knows all my weak spots and shoots fiery darts into them as often as possible and yesterday those were the crazy thoughts I was having. There are moments when I rejoice because my son no longer has to endure this sin-riddled world and that despite his imperfections that some may say disqualified him as being “saved” I believe he is in heaven and I will see him again. Thank you for your comfort and may God help us all endure whatever He allows until the day He returns or calls us home to himself and our loved ones.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I understand completely!

      We know this stuff. But our emotions sometimes don’t react properly to that knowledge. Those are the days I cry and feel the feelings. David did the same in his Psalms many times. Cry. Cry out. Cry out to God. And He meets there. Every. Single. Time.


Please tell me what you think about this post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s