My Friends
I have friends who have had miscarriages.
I have friends who have had stillbirths.
I have friends who lost a baby to SIDS.
I have friends whose child drowned.
I have friends whose child died from cancer.
I have friends whose child died in a tornado.
I have friends whose child died from suicide.
I have friends whose child was murdered.
I have friends whose child died in a motorcycle wreck.
I have friends whose child died after a skateboard accident.
I have friends whose child died in a freak accident.
I have friends whose child died from heart disease or asthma or diabetes.
I have friends whose child died from drug overdose.
I have friends whose child died in a car wreck.
None of them like to take about the details of their child’s death.
They all love to speak of how their child lived.
When you meet a bereaved parent, rather than asking how their child died, ask how he lived.
Ask them about his favorite toy.
His favorite song.
His favorite movie.
His hobbies.
His major.
His passions.
His laugh.
Ask them about their favorite memory.
Ask what they miss most about him,
Ask to see a picture of his smile.
Ask them not how their child died but how he lived.
Because, you see, the important thing isn’t that he died but that HE LIVED!
Note: If your friend lost a child through miscarriage or stillbirth, acknowledge that their child lived and that life matters. These losses can be particularly hard.
1in160blog
This is a tough one. My daughter was stillborn . We don’t have memories, never saw her smile, no favorite toys or books. We lost all dreams for her. Everything I hoped she would be. Gone. That’s the hard part of loss before breath.
KathleenBDuncan
I’m so sorry! Yes, still birth and miscarriage are both hard. I have dear friends who have been through both. Such heartbreak!
Morgan Player
I will. This is perfect advice. Thank you. I lost a baby in a late miscarriage.
https://playinwiththeplayers.wordpress.com/2017/05/06/the-loss-of-dane-age-35/
If you want to take a look sometime.
KathleenBDuncan
I’m so sorry for your loss.
The Laughable Cheese
good article!
KathleenBDuncan
Thanks!
Christine Goodnough
Reblogged this on Christine's Collection and commented:
If you ever wonder what to say to someone who’s grieving, this post is a must-read. while it specifically addresses the death of a child, I think the wisdom here is useful for anyone who’s lost a loved one.
KathleenBDuncan
Thank you.
findinghope373
Thank you.. nice piece ..