Fifteen months after The Accident I wrote the following. When you ask someone, “How are you?” please listen to their answer and believe them.
Some parents I know were discussing how to respond when someone asks “How are you?” after the death of a child. Though they are really feeling like they are in the midst of a terrible storm or walking around in a fog, many said they respond with “I’m fine” or “alright”. They expressed the desire to tell people how that are really doing. But would others understand? Could others handle the truth of our grief?
One mom says she refers to “putting on the clown mask.” You know, a big smile despite how we are actually feeling.
Here is my response to the conversation…
READ MORE: How are you? No, really! How are you?