Why Does It Hurt to Look at Photos Now?

I was thinking about this today. Thinking about my post from last week on Photos

Watching video of Andrew is painful this month. 

I’ve had months and months and months when I loved watching him dance. I loved laughing at his antics. I’ve had days when I craved seeing a video and spent hours looking at YouTube or Facebook videos. But not this month. Right now it simply hurts. 

I wonder if these times when it hurts to see photos or videos aren’t, in part, one way God uses me to help others.

You see, these times remind me of the early days of grief, filled with so much pain! I’m reminded how it hurt to see the pile of dirt where his body lay. How it hurt the first time I saw his favorite food in the pantry and knew he’d never eat it. The pain the first time I had to say, “My son is dead” or write “Date of Death” on a form. I’m reminded of other days when I could hardly breathe it hurt so badly. 

And I pray. 

I pray in gratitude that I’ve come so far! That the Lord has healed my broken heart…is healing my broken heart! I pray for continued healing. 

And I pray for you who are still so new in your grief! 

For my friend whose father died suddenly a few weeks ago after feeling well the past few months. 

For my dear college friend whose adopted son had a heart attack and whose funeral I sobbed through not only because his name was also Andrew but because I knew so well what the coming days and weeks held for my sweet friend. 

For a stranger from our town whose son died in a freak accident and who was being surrounded with love by many of the same homeschool families who surrounded us with love in those early days and weeks and months. 

For the Life Group at church who had to figure out how to love a newly bereaved widower after the death of his wife, also a member of that class, by suicide. I’ve lost friends this way. It’s so hard. There’s an extra layer to this kind of grief. 

For the soon-to-be-my-friend from a nearby community whose son was shot at my alma mater, where one of my sons now attends college. Whose son also died in the prime of  life while away at a school he loved. 

For those of you whose friend, child, sibling, parent, or spouse died this year and who are facing all those firsts without your loved one here on earth. 

Please hear me say, “There is healing available in Christ! You can walk and live and grieve with hope, peace, and joy in Christ! Trust Him, sweet friends. Let Him heal your heart. Let Him show you how to live life on planet earth, with suffering and peace side by side in your heart. Set your mind on things above and walk in the same manner He Hinself walked. You, too, will find that over time this burden gets easier to bear when give it to Jesus.” 

And please know you are prayed for. And know that you are loved. 

4 thoughts on “Why Does It Hurt to Look at Photos Now?

  1. There is healing available in Christ! You can walk and live and grieve with hope, peace, and joy in Christ!
    What beautiful words. Too often we try to push our grief away and avoid it or think that it is “un-Christian” to grieve the loss of our loved ones. Thank you for this sweet reminder. Praying for you as you walk through this path of grief as well.

    Liked by 1 person

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