What If I Forget

I have heard many bereaved parents say, "I'm afraid my child will be forgotten!"

This is one reason so many parents start foundations and other charitable works in their child's name; they want their child's legacy to continue. They want their child to be remembered. 

Parents start safety programs in their child's name to help keep other children from dying the way theirs did. They donate to the hospital where their child was treated and have plaques posted with the child's name on them. They fund scholarships named for their child at the college their child attended. They host arts events and golf tournaments named for their child. These events and charity works keep their child's name and memory alive. 

We did some of these things.

We organized the Andrew Raymond Duncan Memorial Scholarship through the Wichita Falls Area Community Foundation just weeks after The Accident. Each year $5000 in scholarships are given to college students who were involved in local arts organizations. My husband and I are glad to help fund this great project each year. Others have donated as well. 

Bereaved parents often try to keep photos of their child in the public eye. Photos sit on prominent places in their homes. Moms keep their child's photo as their profile picture. They share photos and stories of their child on social media. 

We do some of this as well. We have pictures of our son hanging on the walls of our home alongside his siblings' pictures and I sometimes post pictures of him here and on Facebook. We share stories and have many fond memories of our son.

He lived and we want to remember everything we can about him. He mattered. His life mattered to us. We want others to remember our child as well. 

But what if he is forgotten?

What if all my efforts at keeping his memory alive fail?

What if everyone else forgets he who he was? What if they forget Andrew ever existed?

What if I forget he existed? What if I have a brain injury or get dementia and forget I had a six-foot tall, goofy, wonderful, kind, smart son who loved to dance and sing and laugh? What if I forget his face, his walk, his smile? What if I can't remember his favorite foods or movies or music anymore? 

What if years from now I or someone else hears his name or sees his picture and asks, "Who is that good-looking guy?"

Here's the thing, folks: Though I and everyone else may forget my son…Though future scholarship winners may have no idea who he was or what he did…Though I and everyone else may someday forget he ever existed…


God saw his unformed body and knew Andrew before one of his days came to be.

Our son believed in Jesus. Andrew believed in his heart and confessed with his mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord. He has eternal life! He is forever living as a child of God.
By faith our son was adopted as a child of God. God never forgets His children. 

Our son's name is written on God's hand. Andrew's name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. Never to be erased!

Our son is in the presence of Christ now! Alive! God knows those in His presence.

So, dear friend, if you have lost a child, a parent, or spouse. If you have lost a sibling, a friend, or othe loved one. If you are afraid they will be forgotten, please know that God never forgets His children.

He knows those who love Him and He remembers them forevermore!

He will always remember, now and forevermore. 

Take comfort in that, dear one. And live in peace.

Read more by Kathleen B.Duncan on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/KathleenDuncanblog/

9 thoughts on “What If I Forget

  1. So reassuring to know that God never forgets His children. It is such a joy when someone shares a memory of our son or lets me know they think of him. I know I have forgotten things about Hans just as I have forgotten things about my other children that are still with us. At first, this bothered me – a lot – and still does, really. But then I thought: It’s not possible for me to remember everything about everyone I love all at the same time. I think much of what I think I have forgotten, is merely “stored away”. When the need arises, God can bring a memory to the surface, even years after it has apparently slipped from my mind. And even if we truly forget some things, our memories will be perfectly restored when we get to Heaven. I think we will do a lot of wonderful remembering then. And as far as others forgetting our departed loved ones, very, very few people throughout history are remembered much beyond their lifetime. This doesn’t diminish their lives at all. This life is so brief – people come and go all the time. But in eternity, being forgotten for a few years just won’t matter to us at all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your kind words.

      I often write what I need to hear. I had a few rough days. We even talked about moving from here someday, leaving this house and town…so many memories. And our son’s grace. What if he’s forgotten??

      God won’t forget.


  2. Miss Kathleen ~ I admit I was worried by the title of this blog, but as I read it, I began to understand the worries and understand the need not to work, by the time I got to the end.

    By the way, my oldest daughter is scared to death that one day I will get dementia and I will ask, “Where is Ethan?” and so years ago, it seems, she had decided if that happens she will put me in a care, custody and control facility because she will not be able to take me asking nor needing to be told. I pray the Lord helps me to keep my faculties about me and if I begin to loose it may K not be near me at all.


    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Kathleen I am so thankful to the Father that he has crossed our paths in this sea of bloggers. Your blog is an inspiration in more ways than I can begin to tell you. I have nominated you for the Blogger Recognition Award in my latest blog post. Follow this link to read: http://www.nuggetsfromtheheart.com/three-cord-strands-blogger-recognition-award/
    Thank you for your faithfulness to share so openly from your heart. God bless you sister.
    Rosie Williams


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