Selfishness while Suffering

I’ve heard many times, “You do whatever makes you feel better.” But what makes me feel better in the short term is often detrimental in the long term.

Instead of taking my own counsel and doing what I think is best, I have found it advisable to study God’s Word, seek His wisdom, and follow His instructions while crying out to Him for help and comfort.

No where in scripture have I found exceptions to His instructions such as, “Be kind and compassionate to one another except when you are suffering.” Or “Bear one another’s burdens except when you are grieving.”

I believe God is supremely wise. He knows what we need to heal, what will help us in our suffering. He knows that reaching out and helping others will ultimately help us as well.

Yes, there is a time to weep and mourn. There is a time to rest. Even so, a time comes when we must step out of our own safe place and love others, serve others, comfort others even as we suffer. We must share the comfort we have received from God, in whatever measure we have received it, with those around us who are hurting.

Some of the most beautiful servant-hearted people I know help others despite their own pain and suffering. They still grieve. They still suffer. Yet they are farther along this path and reach back to show others a way to healing.

I want to be like them.

13 thoughts on “Selfishness while Suffering

    • I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, and glad He’s healing you. The healing is not always easy!!

      I, too, found it so easy to be rude and mean to others. It’s my nature! But in Christ I have become a new creation. He is molding me and changing me to conform to the image of His Son.

      The works not done in either of us. So, sweet friend, I’m working on being less selfish today. And I’m praying for you as you walk through hard things.


  1. “You do whatever makes you feel better.” I see this advice given over and over again in the FB grief support groups. Taking good care of yourself is important, but too often this selfish, “you have a right to indulge your grief any way you feel like doing” attitude keeps many in a downward, self-destructive spiral in which those around us suffer collateral damage. “Doing the next right thing”, as you have so often said, Kathleen, is a safe and effective way to minimize the damage and lower our stress levels as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes! If we do what makes us FEEL better we may do harm to others. This can be destructive. Indulging myself in just about anything usually results in ugliness.

      I tried doing things my way before Christ. It didn’t work out well. I now prefer doing things His way.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The “You do whatever makes you feel better.” statement is something that people say when they don’t know what else to say to the person suffering. They try to be soothing but it really is giving permission to only think about yourself as opposed to leaning into God in the time of suffering. Thank you for the reminder. God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I found this challenged me today. We have a daughter who is going through some health struggles and I was struggling with my own selfishness as my time is being eaten by appointments and doctor visits (that probably sounds like an awful statement as a mother) . This was a good reminder to keep my attitude in check and see past my own nose to serve as Christ wants me to serve (and not just to be present).

    Liked by 1 person

    • We can often love others sitting in waiting rooms by engaging them, smiling at them, or simply listening. Being kind to the receptionist who deals with hurting people daily is a way to show the love of Christ.

      I’m working on my attitude as well today.


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