Sitting here wasting time. At half past midnight.

I don’t want to be awake but don’t want to sleep.

Songs going through my mind.

Songs I used to love.

Songs we played at the funeral.

Heard one in a store yesterday. Heard another in a commercial tonight.

If I ever plan another funeral, I’m choosing hymns I hate and songs that are extremely unpopular. Songs that are never sung in church. Songs that no radio station plays.

Hearing songs from your loved one’s funeral in commercials or while shopping can hit you in the gut and cause waves of painful grief to overcome you.

Good night, my friends. Many of you know exactly what I’m talking about.

10 thoughts on “Songs

  1. Yes, Kathleen, I know. The two songs we sang at Hans’ memorial are regularly sung at our church. Not possible to get through them without tears. And it’s not just sadness that makes me cry. It is the connection I feel to the hymn writer and to all the saints who have gone before and have continued to sing God’s praises is defiance of Satan’s attempts to destroy our love and commitment to the Lord. When you see me weeping in church, I may be crying because I miss my Hans, but more than likely, I am weeping tears of utter amazement at God’s goodness.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes!!

      You put into words what I feel! I may miss my Andrew, but I sing It Is Well, How Great Is Our God, and other songs that remind of my son and others who’ve run on before us, I also weep in amazement of God’s goodness.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Our church choir sang a beautiful song called “Behold Our God” at my son’s funeral. I also sing in the choir and fall apart whenever we sing it. I can listen to it at home on a cd but can’t sing it in church as I look at the spot where his funeral was held. This has become a problem because it is our pastor’s favorite song.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh no! I’m sorry.

      I’ve heard from many how hard it is to go back to church because of the memories of their loved one’s funeral. Hearing that makes me glad we had the service at the theatre instead. Though going to shows there is hard, I don’t have to walk in there every week.


  3. Music is so powerful. I can only imagine how hearing one of these special songs in an unexpected context could knock you over. I hope you find another song or collection of songs that lift you up when you need that too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s strange how music affects us in so many ways! These songs usually just remind my son isn’t here, but they don’t know me over. The past few weeks have been very busy! I think I was tired. So the songs hit me hard. I know what I need to do is go to sleep when this happens late; I don’t always do what I should. 😏


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