I’ve been in a battle since early July. On the outside it looks like a simple legal battle, but it is really much more.
I am battling with people over something very important; the outcome of the battle will affect me and others I care about for many years. There is no winning in this battle, but there has already been great loss.
I didn’t want this fight. I didn’t ask for it. Others made choices, choices that harmed one who was helpless. Now I must fight for one who cannot fight for themself, one who trusts me to fight for them.
Though I am battling with people in this matter, God keeps reminding me my true enemies are never people. People are made in His image. He loves people so much that He sent His Son to die for our sins, not just yours and mine but for those of the whole world, even those people on the other side of our private battles.
This may look like two parties engaged in a legal case, but it is actually a spiritual battle with many players and a great deal at stake. It may look as if I’m at war with people; however, I war not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly realms. (Eph 6:12) Those are the enemies I must ask God to battle for me and against whom I must stand firm.
I wish it could have turned out differently. I wish they knew a different way to behave. I wish they would have chosen a different path months and years ago. If they had, we would not be in this place. But they made choices, and choices have consequences, so here we are.
I have been called to protect one who cannot protect themself. So I will fight. I will fight with everything in me. I will sacrifice, and I will not give up because God put me in this fight.
Yet, though I must fight, I have this strange compassion for the people on the other side. I do not hate them for what they have done; they don’t yet know a better way. I pray for them. My husband and I pray for them. I grieve for them and those they have harmed. Their behavior makes me sad. They are losing something they dearly wanted. Something that was never theirs to begin with. Something they were entrusted with yet did not cherish. Something precious to me and to God.
I suppose my point is that in the midst of this battle I must remember truth. I must remember I have been bought with a price. I am not my own and did not deserve the grace shown me by Christ.
And so, I will not rejoice over the pain or shame of others. I will not celebrate a victory when others are hurting. I will try, with God’s help, to overcome evil, not with evil, but with good – with love, kindness, compassion, and healthy boundaries. And I will seek God for wisdom and discernment, patience and peace, grace and mercy as I fight the battle He has called me to fight.
And I pray that some day all those involved may seek forgiveness and be reconciled as brothers and sisters in Christ.
May God be glorified in me through this battle.