How’s your morning going?
Mine? Thanks for asking! I’ll tell you.
Got up early to mow while Ron was in Bible study. It’s a beautiful morning to mow in North Texas.
I was mowing the front pasture with my zero-turn mower. About two acres. I decided to mow the steep slope next to the driveway, something I usually leave to hired hands to do with a push mower. But today I felt brave. Or stupid. I’ll let you decide.
I was mowing up the slope and then backing down. I thought I was being careful. Apparently not careful enough. Yup. You guessed it. I got stuck. On the steepest part. The back end of the ZTM is heavy, what with the motor being back there and all. It dug into the ground and would not move. Not back down. Not forward up. (Hey, if you can do better, come try!)
Yes, you can see where I got stuck in the picture. Yes, my ZTM made the big gouge in the slope. And, no! I should not have done it.
I KNOW! I should not have done it! May I continue??
I crawled off my precarious position atop my slanted ZTM and, for a fleeting moment, considered asking Ron to help me. Nawwwww. I didn’t want to interrupt his BS. Nor did I want the men to know I’d messed up. Pride, don’t you know.
“I’ll get the tractor!” I thought brilliantly. “I can use the front end loader to lift the ZTM!”
I walked back to the house and got the tractor with the front end loader attached. It could easily lift the back end of the ZTM and get it unstuck.
I hopped on the tractor, lifted the front end loader, and headed to the front pasture. As you will soon learn, I clearly did not lift the front end loader high enough. My front pasture has a few dips and hills, none of them huge but big enough to cause a problem if the driver of the front end loader is in a hurry and not paying attention. Those of you who have used a front end loader have probably guessed what happened. I went over a small hill, and the bucket got caught on the ground. BAM! It stopped suddenly as the bucket dug deep into the earth. I went flying. Yes, flying. Up and off the tractor. I landed flat on the ground. (No, I was not wearing the seatbelt. Be quiet and let me finish my story.)
I got up, found my shoes, and a saw my pride splattered all over. Fortunately, none of my blood splattered anywhere. I got back on, buckled the seat belt, raised the bucket properly, and quickly tried to level the gouge in the ground.
I then slowly – and carefully this time – drove to the retrieve my ZTM.
After getting the ZTM unstuck, I returned the tractor to its parking place without incident. That is unless you count getting a cinder block stuck under the belly mower while parking it an incident.
I got back on my ZTM to finish mowing. I waved cheerfully to the men as they drove off after Bible study. They were impressed I was working so hard and were none the wiser about the previous activities in the front pasture.
About ten minutes later, my ZTM suddenly stopped. Dead. Out of gas. In the middle of the front pasture. Not far from where I had gotten stuck and about fifty yards from where I went flying. I hoped my neighbors weren’t drinking hot coffee while watching me.
I gave up. I climbed off my dead, out of gas, worthless, f$&:;(ng mower.
By then all the men had left, so I went into kitchen for a snack. I found Ron and began to tell him all about why I now have bruises and scraps on my legs. While telling him the story, I hit the fork in my bowl and sent it flying, splattering cottage cheese all over the floor, the couch, and Ron. (Don’t judge me. I like cottage cheese with fruit. You do you; I’ll do me.)
Anyway, that’s my morning. So far.
Ron filled the ZTM with gas and parked it in the shade.
If you need me, I’m sitting on my couch surrounded by pillows.
For the rest of today, I am NOT using any complicated equipment like zero turn mowers, tractors, or forks.
An hour later….
I was feeling brave. I went out to finish mowing while Ron rode his bike.
I got the front left pasture finished and started on the front yard and area around the fort. I got most of it done without any problems. After more than hour without any major mishaps, I was feeling good about myself again.
Then I ran over a very strong water hose. It did not simply cut in half; it wrapped around the blades. My mower is now parked by the fort where it will stay until someone helps me get the hose untangled.
Yes, I KNOW! I should have put the hose up BEFORE I started mowing. Yes, I KNOW! I’ve lectured enough teenagers on proper mowing safety and pre-mowing protocol. I do NOT need a lecture from you!!
If you’re such an expert, come show me how it’s done. 🤬
I’m going to shower and watch and movie with Molly my Pug.