Your Words

Your words

I know you thought your words were cute.

I know you meant for your comments on my social media posts to be funny.

I know you are just kidding.

I know your answer is meant to be silly.

I know it is meant in jest.

I know you are trying to be humorous and make people laugh.

I know your sarcastic comments on social media are meant to be lighthearted and fun.

But what you don’t know is that every time you say things like that – when you answer with biting sarcasm – I wonder if you meant what you typed.

I wonder if your words are covering for how you really feel.

I wonder if that’s really how you see me.

I wonder what things I’ve said or done to offend you.

I wonder when I said or did something to anger you.

I wonder what I said or did to make you detest me.

I wonder why you don’t respect me and want to hurt me with your words.

I wonder if others feel the same way you do.

I wonder how many others think I’m a horrible person.

I wonder if they are glad that you got me good that time.

I wonder if they laugh at my shame and embarrassment.

I wonder if they rejoice as you do at my public humiliation.

I wonder if they, too, think badly of me.

And I carefully read every comment trying to decipher their true meaning.

I isolate.

I avoid you in public.

I avoid anyone who might feel as you do.

I don’t go to social functions where I might, yet again, offend someone as I clearly have offended you in the past.

If I could only figure out what I said or did to make you hate me…

If I could figure out what I’ve done to cause such destain…

If only I were not such a worthless person, unwelcome in our community…

If only your words had been different.

——————

Brothers and sisters, our words matter. Speak with kindness. Speak truth. Speak with love. Speak with grace.

Christianity, GRACE, kindness, love, poetry


KathleenBDuncan

I write about my life, my journey, my family, and my faith. I am wife to one, mom to seven with one in heaven, and grandmother to many. I am also full-time caregiver to my stepmom E who suffers from dementia due to Alzheimer’s. In my spare time I like to read, travel, crochet, bike, and play with our black pug Molly.

Comments (5)

  • Kathleen, I just want to hug you. I know what it is to be on the receiving end of hateful and sarcastic words wrapped in “just kidding” too. Words can hurt. I can’t think of a time when I intentionally fired an arrow of hurtful words at someone, but suspect I have (or will) at some point in my life, apart from the Spirit controlling my tongue. This problem with the tongue brings to mind Proverbs 26:18-19, which bluntly says:

    Like a madman shooting firebrands and deadly arrows, so is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I was only joking!”

    You are loved, Kathleen.

    • Thank you.

      Yes! I love that scripture.

      I honestly think people are trying to be funny. But they don’t know the wounds and scars others bear. Those of us who have been abused, are wounded. And we feel sarcastic comments deeply.

  • I’m so sorry for whatever someone said that brought you down instead of building you up. Words sting, no matter what motive they are spoken from. Hugs and prayers, my sister in Christ.

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