Last night I posted this on Facebook:
Would someone please explain to Ron Duncan that when I bring two popsicles to bed and offer him one, I don’t mean it?
#yesisnottheanswer #dontliketoshare #hadtogobacktothekitchen
Ron laughed. Friends who read it laughed. I got up and got two more popsicles.
This morning I got to thinking about popsicles, my husband, and marriage.
Yes. I like popsicles. I like skittles. I like that Ron keeps me stocked in popsicles and skittles.
More importantly, I like that Ron has a heart to serve me, even when I’m not kind to him as evidenced by his behavior the morning after my ugly evening a couple of weeks ago.
Marriage is not about popsicles or skittles.
Marriage is about forgiving your spouse when she’s reacted poorly to hard things in her life. It’s about showing her love when she not being very lovable.
Marriage is about gently correcting her when she is wrong, as Ron has had to do too many times to count.
Marriage is about admitting when you were wrong and making amends as soon as you realize you were in the wrong – something I seem to have to do daily. Ron rarely has to.
Marriage is about realizing that sometimes when your spouse barks at you about something stupid, it’s not about you at all! It’s about her struggling under the weight of the burdens she is caring.
Marriage is about fixing things you didn’t break; saying “I’m sorry that happened” when you are in no way at fault; and asking “how can I love you today?” when your spouse is in desperate need of compassion, grace, and popsicles though she’s deserving of none of those things.
Ron does marriage well.
I’m still learning.