This happened back in January. I’m sharing in hopes it helps someone else.
I saw how ugly my heart is that night.
Yesterday morning I was tired, and it was a gray day. I had no plans, so I put on sweats, a long-sleeve t-shirt, and a sweater jacket that had been Andrew’s. It’s the only piece of his clothing I kept to wear. It’s big on me and very soft. It’s warm. I love it. I stayed in my comfy clothes all day.
I’d taken the sweater jacket off after dinner and hung it on the back of a chair. I forgot to put it up in my room before going to bed.
E has dementia. She moved in with us a month ago.
About 3:00 am this morning E got up and wandered the house for a few minutes. The alarm alerted me she was up. Before I got up and grabbed a bathrobe she was back in her room. I saw her with MY sweater jacket!! She stated to put it on then hung it back on the chair.
“SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO WEAR MY JACKET!” my ugly, selfish heart screamed inside me.
She was soon back to sleep while I stewed.
I quickly realized how ugly I was being. And I’m glad I didn’t say anything to her.
She has no idea whose that sweated jacket is or why it matters to me. She was sleepy, confused, and cold. She did nothing wrong.
This whole caregiver thing is either going to kill me or make me a kinder, more patient and loving person.
I hope it’s the latter.