It’s just after 1 a.m. The alarm goes off. “Motion detected.” She’s out of her bed.
I sit up and grab my phone and open the app while putting on my robe and slippers. I sit on the edge of my bed and watch her via the camera we have placed on the tall bookshelf in the corner of her room. I’m hoping it was just lightning from the storm outside that triggered the alarm.
Nope, it’s not a false alarm. She’s up. She’s making her bed. In the dark. Her broken brain doesn’t tell Read more [...]
When I arrived home after my physical therapy, I found the caregiver sitting on the porch swing with E. They sat there an hour until it was time for the caregiver to leave.
Before leaving today the caregiver apologized for not cleaning E’s bathroom. A tiny bathroom that takes like 20 minutes at most up clean!
She was here FOUR HOURS! What was she doing that she couldn’t get it done????
Well, she was….. Read more [...]
My friend works at a local radio station. She asked me to do a couple of voice-overs for the local crisis pregnancy center. After recording them, she said kindly, “Now try it again. This time smile. Your smile really does change the way your voice sounds.”
I smiled as she recorded me a second time. She played both back for me. What a difference!!! I could actually HEAR my SMILE!
I’ve been trying to be more intentional about smiling when I say “good morning” or tell Read more [...]
In the past month I’ve had four people reach out to ask me to call the mother of a young person who died. They were asking me to minister to their grieving friend whom I’ve never met.
I’m sorry your friend lost their child. I’m sorry they are grieving. I really am. But, no, I will not call them. I will not call a grieving mom I don’t know, especially in the early weeks of grief. Even if they said it would be okay for you to have me call.
In my experience, having a stranger Read more [...]
Sixteen years ago I woke on Easter morning when the phone rang. It was Evelyn calling to tell me my dad was gone to live forever in Heaven. I could hear the love, pain, and tears in her voice. They had a beautiful marriage and an wonderful love for each other.
I spent the next week at their house helping with arrangements and supporting her.
For years I’d call every Easter morning to reminisce about Dad and comfort her.
She no longer remembers. We no longer share stories of his humor Read more [...]
For many of us, moving our person home, to an assisted living facility, or memory care is a very hard decision! Once it’s made, you may expect things to get better. They won’t. Not at first. Your person needs a time of adjustment. They may lose cognitive abilities, become agitated, depressed, or more confused.
It’s called TRANSFER TRAUMA.
Transfer Trauma. It’s a real thing.
I wrote the following the week E moved from Colorado to Texas. I hope it helps some of you. (I’ll share Read more [...]
I’ve begun sharing scripture posts in a dementia caregivers group. Here is my post this week. In the comments, please share passages that encourage you in whatever you are walking through.
SUNDAY SCRIPTURE POST
I love Ephesians 2. The whole chapter!
It reminds me that I am saved grace. Because I have received grace, even when I was dead and worthless in my sin, I must give grace. Always grace. No matter what this disease throws at me.
Verse ten reminds us we are God’s workmanship, Read more [...]
Ron is off social media for a while, but I want to brag on him.
Wednesday he called and asked me to schedule a sitter for Friday evening so we could go out with friends. (I have to schedule such things with the agency else he would have called.)
Thursday evening he listened while I spewed the ugly thoughts and feelings in my head all over him. Without responding in kind.
Friday morning, when I asked, he forgave me for spewing stuff that should not have been spewed.
Friday afternoon he Read more [...]
Saturday morning musings….
Someone asked me last night if I worried about E.
Short answer: No. I’m not worried. I am realistic and saddened by this disease. Sometimes I’m angry at the disease, but I work to treat E with grace regardless of what the disease throws at us. I’m not worried; I choose to trust God.
No, I am not worried about E.
I don’t know what our future holds, nor can I change what this disease holds for E. Worrying definitely won’t change the Read more [...]