Twelve Things I’m Grateful For On the 12th

I am thankful for alarms and warnings. 

  1. Stop sign
  2. Flashing yellow lights
  3. Beeping smoke detector when it’s time to change the battery
  4. Alarm clock 
  5. Railroad crossing gates
  6. “Sharp Curve Ahead”
  7. “Watch for Falling Rock”
  8. Check Engine Lights
  9. Fuel gage
  10. Home Alarm System
  11. Storm Warnings
  12. Biblical warning regarding future events

What are you grateful for?

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The Accident was on August 12, 2013. For months the 12th brought me to tears. Then, about a year later, I decided to choose gratitude and healing rather than sorrow. Thus “Twelve Things I am Thankful for on the 12th”

Twelve Things I’m Grateful for on the 12th

This month I am grateful for…

  1. Soft tissues 
  2. Good antibiotics 
  3. Walk-in clinic 
  4. A listening doctor
  5. My electric blanket
  6. Netflix 
  7. Savory soups
  8. Applesauce 
  9. Headache medicine 
  10. Soft music
  11. Praying friends
  12. My fuzzy bathrobe and slippers 

Can you guess I’ve been sick this week? I’m on the mend. And grateful for some down time. 

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The Accident was on August 12, 2013. For months the 12th brought me to tears. Then, about a year later, I decided to choose gratitude and healing rather than sorrow. Thus “Twelve Things I am Thankful for on the 12th”

Twelve Things I’m Grateful for on the 12th

Twelve things. Gratitude. I’ve chosen gratitude for many months. Years, in fact. 

When I first started this monthly list, I thought I might run out of things to share. But choosing gratitude, over time, has made my list grow longer! I’m constantly finding new things to be grateful for. 

Here is my list this morning.

  1. Folks who share their hope with others rather than just moving on without reaching back.
  2. Candles. Of all kinds.
  3. Warm, crackling fire on a cold December evening.
  4. The sounds of my husband chopping veggies for healthy soup while I rest.
  5. Toffee covered pretzels.
  6. My adult kids doing well in their chosen fields.
  7. Soft tissues that come in pretty boxes.
  8. Friends who pray for me on rough days.
  9. Forgiveness. Given to others because God forgave me.
  10. Forgiveness. Given to me by others I love when I mess up.
  11. New lights on my old Christmas tree.
  12. Four new stockings hanging by the fire. I just got around to ordering them for our grandchildren this year.

What are you thankful for today? Even if you are hurting, if someone hurt you, there are still things in your life you can be grateful for. What are they?


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The Accident was on August 12, 2013. For months the 12th brought me to tears. Then, about a year later, I decided to choose gratitude and healing rather than sorrow. Thus “Twelve Things I am Thankful for on the 12th”

Twelve Things I’m Grateful for on the 12th

  1. The engineers, manufacturing folks, and designers who built our truck so we can drive safely across the country. 
  2. The folks who build airplanes so I can fly with comfort and without fear. 
  3. The hotel staff who make our stays pleasant. 
  4. Chefs and waitstaff who make eating out a pleasure. 
  5. The staff and workers at United Electric/Magic Aire who work hard to make the company a success. 
  6. Workers who maintain this countries roads and highways to make travel safer for us all. 
  7. Whoever decided to smash up avocados and mix them with wonderful foods for chip dipping. 
  8. Pomegranates. 
  9. Mangoes. 
  10. The brilliant person who first mixed pomegranates and mango with guacamole! OMG! Divine!!!
  11. Poolside seating. At a nice hotel. With my colored pencils. 
  12. This …..

 

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The Accident was on August 12, 2013. For months the 12th brought me to tears. Then, about a year later, I decided to choose gratitude and healing rather than sorrow. Thus “Twelve Things I am Thankful for on the 12th

Twelve Things I Am Grateful for on the 12th

We are traveling. Again. By the time we get home Saturday we will have been away from home 37 days. We have driven through 18 states and two Canadian provinces this trip. I’ve lost track of how many hotels we’ve stayed in. 

Over the past year, as I’ve traveled with my love, I have been on many kinds of roads. I’m glad for our adventures.

Roads I am grateful for:

  1. Broad boulevards
  2. Busy expressways
  3. Hiking trails
  4. Ocean boardwalks
  5. Gravel driveways
  6. Country dirt roads
  7. Smooth streets
  8. Winding mountain passes
  9. River walks
  10. Bike trails through parks and along rivers
  11. Cobblestone streets
  12. Forest paths covered in soft moss


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The Accident was on August 12, 2013. For months the 12th brought me to tears. Then, about a year later, I decided to choose gratitude and healing rather than sorrow. Thus “Twelve Things I am Thankful for on the 12th”.

Twelve Things I’m Grateful for on the 12th

September 12.

It’s time for my gratitude list.

For those of you who don’t know why I do these lists…

The Accident that killed our son was late at night on August 12, 2013. The official Date of Death is August 13 because of the remote location. The official who could pronounce them didn’t arrive at the scene for 45 minutes. By then, it was after midnight. It took the first responders a long time to get the truck off the car so they could get the bodies out. For months, I thought often about The Accident and what I had lost that day.

For ten months the 12th brought me to tears. Actually, the depression started on the ninth or tenth and lasted for days. My husband says I was proactively depressed. Then, in the eleventh month, I decided to choose gratitude and healing rather than sorrow. Now, I am proactively grateful. Starting around the ninth of each of month, I begin thinking about and writing “Twelve Things I am Thankful for on the 12th”.

Here is my list today:

  1. Fluffy white clouds floating through the blue sky.
  2. Farmers who grow things all across our nation.
  3. First responders who go towards the danger to save lives, putting their own at risk.
  4. Small town gas stations. I’ve seen some strange things as I traveled this country, and I’ve met some wonderful people in small towns where I’ve stopped for gas.
  5. The group of bereaved parents who drove into Toledo last night to share their stories. We talked of our children, our lives, our grief, and our Lord. 
  6. The ability to read and study the Bible. Answers to so many of my questions are found in it. 
  7. Mystery. God’s mysteries. Some things I will not understand this side of heaven. I’m okay with that. God is much bigger than my pea-sized brain will ever understand.
  8. Opportunities to minister with my husband. I’m not sure where this is taking us, but the journey is amazing.
  9. My son who has become a grownup and who calls just to check on me when he knows I’m having a hard time, and who reminds me to breathe and pray.
  10. Tanner. The man who is caring for our home the next month. He’s a great guy, even if his beard does look shaggy at times. And he loves my puppies.
  11. Second chances. I got a few. I got a huge second chance when I asked forgiveness from  God. I’m grateful He made me a new creation and wiped away my old self and cleansed me from all unrighteousness.
  12. Giving second chances. To those who hurt me and to those who simply messed up. I don’t care if you’ve been to prison, so have I. Your prison had bars and guards. Mine was of my own making and was spiritual; it consumed me. The Judge, the King of Kings showed me mercy and set me free. I have been forgiven and given a second chance; how can I not give others grace and mercy when I have received much?

What are you grateful for today? Please share your list in the comments. Maybe you only have time to write one or two things, please share them with us.

I pray you all have a blessed week.

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The Accident was on August 12, 2013. For months the 12th brought me to tears. Then, about a year later, I decided to choose gratitude and healing rather than sorrow. Thus “Twelve Things I am Thankful for on the 12th”.

Twelve Things I’m Grateful for on the 12th

Three years…

36 months…

156 weeks…

1096 days…

…since my son breathed his last breath on earth and found himself in the presence of Christ.

The Accident happened about 11:30 on a Monday night. Because of the location, they were not pronounced dead until 12:15 am on August 13, 2013.

The 12th was hard for me those first ten months. Then I decided to be grateful — grateful on the 12th for all I had rather than be overwhelmed by my loss. Choosing gratitude has helped me heal. It has helped me find peace as I think about the things I have rather than my loss. 

Yes, I’ve lost many I love. Yes, I have a number of friends in their last days now and whom I will lose soon unless God does a miracle. Each of these people have given me wonderful things! Memories, thoughts, experiences, and love. They have helped shape my life. I can focus on pain and loss, or I can accept and acknowledge the pain and loss then go on to think about the good things in my life because these people were in it.

In a grief group, a mom posted three things she was grateful for on the anniversary of her child’s death:

Another grieving mom once posted three things she is grateful for on the anniversary of her child’s death:

  1. Something I am grateful for from my child’s life
  2. Something I am grateful for in my child’s death (I know that may seem hard, but it is possible)
  3. Something I am grateful for since my child’s death

I thought it was a good idea when I read it, so here are three categories of things I’m grateful for on this, the third anniversary of The Accident:

Somethings I am grateful for from Andrew’s life.

1. His joy and laughter. He was an amazing guy who brought light with him everywhere he went. We all had moments when we were furious with him, but we couldn’t stay that way long. He was such a sweet guy and could disarm you with his grin. I just couldn’t stay mad at that kid! His memory stills brings joy and laughter.

2. I got to be his mom for more than twenty years. We had our struggles, he wasn’t perfect,  and neither am I. But we had a great relationship…once he stopped being an ornery teenager and I figured out how to deal with and accept him exactly as he was. I loved when he’d call and talk for two hours about whatever came to mind! I love that he loved me and knew I loved him.

Andrew age 18 months
at the park with my sweet boy!
All four of my boys are in this picture. Andrew on my back, David on the rock, Adam bending down, and Peter in my belly. Spring of 1994.
Two-year-old Andrew loved to get dressed up!

3. Andrew knew Jesus as Lord and Savior. Andrew didn’t always make right choices, yet he knew he was forgiven and loved. He knew that he had been fearfully and wonderfully made. He knew that Jesus was the Son of God, died on a cross for his sin, was buried, and rose again. He knew the Master Choreographer loved him. Because of this, I know Andrew is more than okay today; he is in the presence of Christ!

4. His friendships with folks of all ages and types. So many different folks came through our home at parties and events. I’m especially grateful for all the 12 Second Warriors; I love them all and pray for them often. I’m glad I still get to keep in touch with many of them. I’m grateful for the new stories I still hear! I’m grateful for all the pictures and videos his friends posts. I’m grateful that they helped him become the man he was.

Somethings I am grateful for in his death.

1. Peace from God that I felt almost immediately. Despite the shock, pain, and sorrow of knowing he was gone, I knew that I was loved by the Creator. I knew that He knew about each of our days before one of them came to be. I knew that God is sovereign and loving. And I knew that, somehow, the Lord would be glorified in all of this.

2. My husband who did so many hard things that week including cleaning out Andrew’s apartment and speaking at the memorial service. I can’t imagine how I would have made it through these past three years without Ron. He was amazing in those first few moments – strong and loving towards me and our other children, organized and willing to do what had to be done, yet gentle with so many hurting people who came in and out of our home. I am grateful we were side-by-side that week. 

3. My family who loved each other well. My girls helped me with things like gathering photos and greeting visitors. The guys made the trip with their dad to clean out their brother’s apartment, a task so monumental only they could have done it. My stepmom and siblings who were amazingly kind and loving to me, their baby sister, especially my big brother Bob who loves his nephews as only an uncle can. Cousins, nephews & nieces, in-laws, and other family members who made the trip to be with us for the burial and memorial.

4. Friends who did things for us I’m still learning about like food, cleaning, helping with the memorial, and simply listening. I may only learn in heaven all that was done for us in the weeks after The Accident. Prayers, kind words, texts, cards, food, and so much more. From the Wichita Theatre folks (who offered the theatre for the memorial) to our homeschool community to our church family to his dance family to the Boy Scouts and bikers of all kinds, so many people stepped in to help us in ways we didn’t know we needed help.  I’ve written about many of these things. I am amazed at how loved I felt, that so many people from such diverse backgrounds all cared for my family.

Somethings  I am grateful for in our journey since his death.

1. My closer relationship to God and better understanding of Truth. Yes, my son’s death caused me to rethink some of my theology, not to question God’s existence or love, but rethink how this whole thing works. I’m still working on understanding it, but I know His Word to be completely true, even the parts I don’t understand. And I know God more closely than ever. I am grateful.

My dining room table covered with my current study materials.
2. Time spent with my husband on road trips as we process all that happened in 2013. It was a hard year even before The Accident. I’m grateful to have had Ron by my side through all of it. You’ve read about our travels and cycling adventures these past couple of years. You’ve seen pictures of our kids and grandkids. What I can’t convey in this blog without sounding like I’m boasting is how amazing Ron is in every area of his life. I had let the trials of the year before The Accident cause me to forget some of that; I had let resentments and the troubles of this world cloud my vision of who Ron is and how much he loves me. In walking through loss and grief with him, I am reminded daily of the enormity of the gift I have in my husband.

Me at age 21 with Ron age 24 and our first child Meredith at 6 months.
Me at age 53 with Ron age 55 holding our first granddaughter 3-month-old Lucy Marie (Meredith’s daughter)
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Learning to write, which started only as a way to tell folks how we were doing and has morphed into so much more. I am a math and science nerd. Perfect math score on the ACT. Passed the CPA exam first time through. But I’ve always been terrified on writing an essay! Writing reports, papers, and even a letter could cause me break into a sweat. Writing is not my gift. Doesn’t God have a sense of humor? He keeps asking me to use something at which I feel completely inept to reach other hurting people. This requires me to rely on Him. It’s also helped me process my pain and grief.

4. The friends I’ve met through grief. We share our stories but so much more! We share our pain, our joy, our laughter, and our hope in Jesus Christ. I have met many of these friends in my own hometown. Others I’ve met on the road as I travel with Ron. So many more I’ve only met through Facebook and this blog. They give me strength and encouragement. I’m grateful for each of them but sorry we have loss in common.

So, that is my list. My list of Twelve Things I’m Grateful for on the third anniversary of The Accident.  

Lord,

Thank you for Andrew.  Thank you for all who loved us the week of The Accident. Thank you for continuing to work in my life. Thank you for all you have done for me as you work to conform me to the image of Christ.

Amen

If you have experienced loss of a loved one, rather than focusing on loss and what is now missing your life, consider focusing on things you are grateful for, the things God has done for and through you. 

Making this choice has been a huge part of my finding joy, peace, and hope in my grief. By choosing gratitude, I have helped in my own healing. I pray that you find a way to have joy, peace, and hope in your own journey. 

Twelve Things I’m Grateful for on the 12th

I'm a day late. Oops!

Here is a list of loud things I'm grateful for:

  1. Children playing outside
  2. Fans after a touchdown
  3. My sons' laughter
  4. My puppies protecting me from squirrels
  5. Thousand of gallons of water going over a waterfall
  6. Thunder
  7. Airplanes taking off
  8. Taxi horns in Manhattan
  9. Marine drill instructors
  10. Chainsaws 
  11. Smoke detector blaring
  12. Tap dancing

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The Accident was on August 12, 2013. For months the 12th brought me to tears. Then, about a year later, I decided to choose gratitude and healing rather than sorrow. Thus "Twelve Things I am Thankful for on the 12th".

Twelve Things I Am Grateful for on the 12th

Day 12 Twelve Things You Are Grateful For

June 12, 1942. Anne Frank received a diary for her birthday.

June 12, 2014. The last time I allowed the 12th to be a day of monthly mourning and depression for me. The next month, when the 12th rolled around, I chose to be grateful for the things and people I have rather than being depressed because of what I had lost.

Tell about a dozen things you are grateful to have in your life. It could be people, things, memories, etc.

 (Yes, I cheated on this one since I do this every month anyway.)

Two years of being grateful on the 12th instead of allowing my grief to overwhelm me. It’s hard to believe it was just two years ago that I decided to choose gratitude.

Here is my monthly gratitude post.

Last Thursday evening, we were invited to an intimate concert at a friend’s home. Nick Jaina was performing. He plays music, sings original songs, and reads from his book. I had no idea what to expect, but the evening was wonderful!

In his last number, Nick read from his own list of “things I love about this earth”. I wish I knew shorthand and could have written down all that he said. I loved his list!

Here is my list of things I am grateful for this month.

  1. Grace and forgiveness given me by friends when I say stupid things or smart things in a stupid way.
  2. The feel of freshly washed sheets on freshly shaved legs.
  3. Finding a perfectly ripe avocado at the grocery store on a day when I really want homemade guacamole.
  4. Waking up from a nap to find that my husband folded all the clean laundry while I slept.
  5. Discovering money in the pocket of the jacket I wore three months ago.
  6. Finding just enough ice cream in the carton for one serving so I get to it all without a bowl.
  7. The sounds and sights of a thunderstorm at night.
  8. The sweet kisses my husband gives me on my cheek when he leaves for work before I am awake.
  9. Having a yard full of laughing children having a wonderful times playing in the pools and sprinklers.
  10. Looking at the scales and seeing that I have reached a weight I have not been in years!
  11. Sitting on my front porch reading and feeling the warm sunshine on my face.
  12. Discussing God’s Word with a group of amazing woman on Tuesday evenings this summer.

What are you grateful for in your life?

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The Accident was on August 12, 2013. For months the 12th brought me to tears. Then, about a year later, I decided to choose gratitude and healing rather than sorrow. Thus “Twelve Things I am Thankful for on the 12th”.

Twelve Things I Am Grateful for on the 12th

Today is my husband’s birthday. I am grateful for the thirty-three years we have been together. He loves me well, even when I’m not acting very lovable. So here are twelve (or more) pictures of the man I get to do life with.

 

Camille, me, and Ron riding The Five Boros Bike Tour in NYC. May 2016
Riding in Indiana. April 2016
Selfie! Yes, we were tired and only had five minutes on the beach.
Riding in Vestal, NY. March 2016.
Ron, Camille (my riding buddy), Liz (KMOC Office Manager), and me before the ride.
Ron & I by Lake Jenny
Garden of the Gods near Colorado Springs. August 2015.
Chicago. Spring 2015.
Granddad holding ketchup for Colin. Fall 2014.
Ron finishing a half distance triathlon! November 2012.
Horseshoe Falls, Canada.
Ron & Kathleen, married 31 years
Wedding reception. 1983.
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