Sixteen years ago I woke on Easter morning when the phone rang. It was Evelyn calling to tell me my dad was gone to live forever in Heaven. I could hear the love, pain, and tears in her voice. They had a beautiful marriage and an wonderful love for each other.
I spent the next week at their house helping with arrangements and supporting her.
For years I’d call every Easter morning to reminisce about Dad and comfort her.
She no longer remembers. We no longer share stories of his humor Read more [...]
For many of us, moving our person home, to an assisted living facility, or memory care is a very hard decision! Once it’s made, you may expect things to get better. They won’t. Not at first. Your person needs a time of adjustment. They may lose cognitive abilities, become agitated, depressed, or more confused.
It’s called TRANSFER TRAUMA.
Transfer Trauma. It’s a real thing.
I wrote the following the week E moved from Colorado to Texas. I hope it helps some of you. (I’ll share Read more [...]
I’ve begun sharing scripture posts in a dementia caregivers group. Here is my post this week. In the comments, please share passages that encourage you in whatever you are walking through.
SUNDAY SCRIPTURE POST
I love Ephesians 2. The whole chapter!
It reminds me that I am saved grace. Because I have received grace, even when I was dead and worthless in my sin, I must give grace. Always grace. No matter what this disease throws at me.
Verse ten reminds us we are God’s workmanship, Read more [...]
Saturday morning musings….
Someone asked me last night if I worried about E.
Short answer: No. I’m not worried. I am realistic and saddened by this disease. Sometimes I’m angry at the disease, but I work to treat E with grace regardless of what the disease throws at us. I’m not worried; I choose to trust God.
No, I am not worried about E.
I don’t know what our future holds, nor can I change what this disease holds for E. Worrying definitely won’t change the Read more [...]
Are you caring for a loved one?
Do you struggle with all the paperwork for your LO? I use a heavy-duty 2” binder. I start a new binder each year.
All receipts, bills, Medicare & SS forms, etc go into the notebook. Everything is filed by date within sections.
Here are the dividers/sections I have for this year:
Bills Pending - unpaid or disputed bills. With notes why they aren’t paid, record of who I spoke with if calls made, etc.
Bills Paid - in order I paid Read more [...]
Today I cleaned out The Drawer.
We have antique chest of drawers in our entry way. It came from my parents’ home more then seven years ago. She gave it to me just two months before The Accident. She’d bought it at a garage sale and painstakingly refinished it. It was in their breakfast room for years. It’s beautiful.
It was empty when The Accident happened.
In the weeks after The Accident I filled one of the drawers - The Drawer - with things that are all about Andrew and The Accident:A Read more [...]
I was thinking about some things that happened Thursday. I realized I can be grateful even in the midst of this horrible disease.
I went for an Essential Caregiver visit. (Texas now allows Essential Caregivers to enter facilities.) I knew I needed to organize E’s closet, quickly go through drawers looking for trash, and clean out the bathroom cabinets. She tends to stuff everything anyplace she can - food containers, jewelry, plastic forks, etc. Her Brain is broken; E has dementia. She doesn’t Read more [...]
I can’t go in to see E; all long-term care facilities are on lockdown. Only medically necessary visits allowed.
I can’t visit her, but I can brighten her day.
A local grocer had large bunches of flowers for $5. They were half price 3-7 pm on Friday. I bought six bunches.
A friend and I gathered a few dozen small vases. We washed them in hot, soapy water.
Then we took everything to E’s assisted living.
Tomorrow they are going to let 2-3 residents at a time come to the dining Read more [...]
I came home from a trip two days ago and it was clear E’s hair had not been washed in at least two weeks. When I asked E about going to a salon to get it washed, she replied, “I don’t give a sh** about my hair!” Well then! I quickly dropped that topic!
Here is what I did to deal with the situation. Read more [...]
It’s been a long time since I shared my gratitude list. Please know that I am very grateful! I just haven’t shared lists with you. I’ve been thinking lately that I should get back in the habit of posting these monthly lists.
During the past eighteen months as I’ve gone through trials, I made lots mental gratitude lists; being grateful helps me set my mind on things above rather than dwelling on hard, ugly things. I try to thank God not only for the good things in my life but also for Read more [...]