Another Year Has Passed

Another year has passed. I realize I am not the first mother to lose her son. Eve grieved Abel. Mary grieved Jesus. I will not be the last. Many others will walk this road. But knowing these things does not make losing my Andrew easier. What has made this loss bearable is knowing my son…

Five Years

I’m in Denver for a few weeks with my stepmom. She needs my help right now. She’s been ill and is in a rehab hospital. I’ve been here four of the last six weeks. I’ll be here for weeks at a time the next few months. I am here by myself. This is going to…

Disappointment

I had surgery Wednesday to remove a benign mass in my right submandibular salivary gland. When I awoke in recovery I was disappointed. For a moment I was disappointed that I did not wake up in heaven. This world is not my home. My citizenship is in heaven and I eagerly await our Savior’s return.…

Night Time. Dark Time.

Middle of the night. Night time. Dark time. Hardest of hard times in grief. So many dark thoughts. So many memories. So many unfulfilled dreams. So much pain. So much loneliness. Nighy time. Dark time. No one there to listen to my cries. No one there to sooth my hurts. No one there to hold…

Random Thoughts On Grief

Random thoughts for today as I am studying suffering in 1 Peter. In the short term, the death of our child outweighs everything else in our lives to the point we just don’t care about anything. I did not eat for days. I didn’t care about doing things like getting dressed, cleaning anything, or talking…

He Is Our Healer

We cannot ever expect others to do for us what only God can do. He is our comfort. He is our fortress. He is our healer. He is our redeemer. He is the one who cares for us. He is faithful and compassionate and merciful and abounding in love. When something happens and you are…