Our seventh Thanksgiving without Andrew.
I miss him.
I still have days when the grief takes my breath away. But those days are rare and far between. The missing is more of a dull ache than searing pain.
His name is mentioned. His siblings remember. His friends remember. We remember.
But even if no one remembered him, his name is written in God’s Book of Life, never to be erased. He will never be in my home again, but he is Home. He is living in the presence of Christ.
Some day I will join Read more [...]
I wrote this to a friend earlier today. He was my son’s friend. He is now my friend. And he’s grieving the loss of yet another friend.
I thought I’d share it with you.
Are you grateful for the grief and trials in your life? If so, why? Please share in the comments.
A year or so ago I went to visit a friend who had just lost her son. I felt like I was to share two things with her. One was private, just for her ears. The other was “We all grieve differently. You can grieve any way you want so long as you don’t sin.”
I saw her a few months later. She told me - with a grin - that I’d ruined grief for her. Everything she wanted to do was sin - yell at her husband, throw things, isolate, stop caring for her other children. We both laughed. I completely understood.
Then Read more [...]
A few months after The Accident that took my twenty-year-old son’s life, I had a series of dreams.
In the first one Andrew was dancing before the Throne. (He was a professional dancer when he died.) There was a bright spotlight on him. My view was a closeup of him dancing though I could tell others were dancing with him.
The next time I had the dream, the spotlight was larger, showing more dancers. My view was as if the camera had pulled back a bit so I could see a bigger view. I could still Read more [...]
Another year has passed.
I realize I am not the first mother to lose her son. Eve grieved Abel. Mary grieved Jesus. I will not be the last. Many others will walk this road. But knowing these things does not make losing my Andrew easier.
What has made this loss bearable is knowing my son was a great guy pursuing his dreams. He was kind and funny and smart. He will always be missed. And he is loved by God.
Knowing we are loved and lifted up in prayer by our friends even five years later helps us Read more [...]
I’m in Denver for a few weeks with a loved one. She needs my help right now. She's been ill and is in a rehab hospital. I've been here four of the last six weeks. I'll be here for weeks at a time the next few months. I am here by myself. This is going to be a long journey, one I’m privileged to walk with her.
As I walked down the hall a man with dementia was crying. A staff member kindly and gently asked him what’s wrong. “You can’t bring my son back,” he sobbed. I don’t know his history Read more [...]
I had surgery Wednesday to remove a benign mass in my right submandibular salivary gland. When I awoke in recovery I was disappointed. For a moment I was disappointed that I did not wake up in heaven.
This world is not my home. My citizenship is in heaven and I eagerly await our Savior’s return. Until then, I have work to do here on earth, good work that God prepared in advance for me to do.
Yes, I was momentarily disappointed.
Then I was reminded that God is my creator. He is the potter and Read more [...]
I wrote this one year after The Accident. It's been shared hundreds of times. I pray it helps someone today.
God’s ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. The secret things belong to God. We will not understand all that He does on earth; however, I know He is loving, compassionate, just, wise, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love, and full of mercy. He uses junk to make beautiful things. He can and will use The Accident for our good and His glory. He promises in His Word Read more [...]