I failed as a parent of an adult the other night.
My adult kid (who lives in another state) called me very late that night. Things had gone badly for them that day. They needed me to listen. I did...for a while. Then I mentioned a couple of things they had done wrong and offered advice. I may have been right, but my timing was definitely way off. This adult offspring yelled at me. The conversation ended. I didn’t sleep for hours.
The next day they took responsibility for their part and apologized. Read more [...]
Our seventh Thanksgiving without Andrew.
I miss him.
I still have days when the grief takes my breath away. But those days are rare and far between. The missing is more of a dull ache than searing pain.
His name is mentioned. His siblings remember. His friends remember. We remember.
But even if no one remembered him, his name is written in God’s Book of Life, never to be erased. He will never be in my home again, but he is Home. He is living in the presence of Christ.
Some day I will join Read more [...]
The past eighteen months have been hard for me. Hard physically. Hard mentally. Hard emotionally. Hard on my marriage.
Yet never once did my husband give up on me.
He's always there. Always. During good times and hard times.
He doesn't have to be there; he chooses to be there. Because he chooses to love me. Even when it's hard.
This morning I arrived at my husband's workplace for a meeting. He met me at the building's front door with a beautiful, joy-filled smile on his face. I asked why he was Read more [...]
A sweet friend calls every August 13 and asks, “Any fun Andrew stories you want to share.” We talk about him, our husbands , grandkids, and adult offspring. It’s a wonderful chat.
Yes, I miss him.
Yes, I still have days when it hurts to not be able to pick up the phone and call him. I still have days, even six years later when I cry.
But more often, when I think of my fifth child, my third son, I think of the joy he and life he brought into my life. He was bigger than life. Full of mischief Read more [...]
So. Yesterday I was reading Numbers. Aaron, Moses’s brother, climbed a mountain and died. I’m sure this is a sign that we should never climb mountains. Or even small hills. Just to be safe.
(Just a bit of humor for your day.)
Seriously, though. This got me to thinking.
Others often believe if they understand how our child died, they can do something to prevent their child from dying.
Most of us did the right things: we prayed, we taught them right from wrong, we took them for checkups, we Read more [...]
Junk. So much junk in my past. So many times they hurt me or tried to control me and lied. I have forgiven them. I wish them well. But I cannot have them in my life.
I wish I could have a relationship with them. But I can’t. I’m not willing.
Or I’m not strong enough. Not strong enough to stand the beating yet again. I wish I could have them in my life. But, when every single time I try, they push and shove and hit until I am on the ground bleeding and then they kick me in the gut over and Read more [...]