Writing. Blogging. Story telling.

It’s Not My Story to Tell

I’ve received a few messages like the following over the past year,

I feel led to write a book about my life. There are some ugly things in my past that involve my family. I don’t want to hurt them. At the same time I feel that I need to tell the truth about my past. How do I do that without hurting my family? How can I write honestly about my past without throwing my family under the bus?

My answer usually is, “I write about my life, my story, my faith, my viewpoint. Mine. Not someone else’s. I do not write stories that are not mine to tell.”

I do not share someone else’s story without their permission. Ever. Not those in Facebook groups. Not my kids. Not my husband. Not those who may have hurt me. Not even those I’m commending. If they haven’t given me permission to write about them, I won’t share it.

When I write, I tell my story. I share my thoughts and feelings about various events and issues. To do that, I do not need to divulge the sinful or ugly actions of others. I try to be honest and transparent without exposing someone else’s sin.

One of my goals is to glorify God in my writing.

A second goal is to honor my family, even those who’ve hurt me in the past.

As for those who hurt me…

I have written honestly about my mom. She was an abusive drunk who got saved the day she died. She was a hurting lady who hurt others. She made many mistakes as a parent. When I share, the focus is not on specific things she did, but on how I saw God working in my life through the pain. We had a great relationship the last year or so if her life. I would not share if she were still alive, if she would feel shame or humiliation. She died twenty years ago. Her parents and siblings are all gone. My writing will not hurt them. Even so, I’ve not shared everything that happened. Some of it was not done to me; it’s not my story to tell.

There are others who are still alive who have hurt me, but I never share anything that could identify them. I share general things. Not details. And not any identifying things. I’ve written some stories where I changed details, dates, locations so no one could identify who I’m writing about.

One reason I don’t share details or names is that doing so would not glorify God. As Christians, we should always ask if what we are sharing on our blogs or in books glorifies God. If not, don’t share it.

Nowhere in scripture are we told to confess the sins of others.

I am to forgive others, not expose them to shame or humiliation. I have been forgiven much. I must forgive others, regardless of what they did. I’ve forgiven all the hurts from my past. All of it. I can write about my past and what God has done in and for me more honestly and objectively because I’ve forgiven. I also don’t need to give details because I’ve worked through the forgiveness.

I realize God is still working in those people, the ones who hurt us. One day, when they accept Christ, they will be a new creation! The old will have passed away! Then, if they wish to confess their past sins to the public, they can be the one to share what God has done in their lives, how He’s changed them. It’s not for me to confess their sin, now or ever.

Additionally, we don’t need to share all the details to get our point across. Speaking in generalities can be just as effective. Keeping it a bit vague helps my readers identify with me. They can see God working in not only my story but also how He could work in theirs!

For example I may write, “Ugly things happened to me when I was still in middle school. Things no young woman should have to deal with. Yet God has helped me work through forgiveness. He has helped me find peace.”

This would be much better than saying, “When I was twelve my uncle Gezakiah beat me at my grandparents’ farm in Kentucky.” (An example, not true for me. I have no uncle who beat me nor do I have family in Kentucky.)

In the first option no blame is placed on anyone in a way that might shame them. Plus readers who experienced a different type of abuse can relate to and learn from my experience.

To do this, extensive editing may be required. You may need to write the story completely and then walk away. Come back to it in a day or two. Take out any identifying details. Change to pseudonyms. When speaking of a specific sin, change to more general, vague terms.

Pray. Pray to ask God to help you see your true intentions. Are you telling the story to get revenge? To prove how bad the other person was? Or because God has done something powerful in your life and you want others to know how amazing His grace is? If it’s to get revenge or show the sins of others, find a good counselor; you don’t need to publish a book yet.

One last point about sharing the sins of others…

Each of us has sinned. Every single one of us. We’ve all hurt people. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. Often the other person meant no harm, but they said or did something that offended you. Scripture tells us to go to them, alone, to talk through it and be reconciled. When the topic is abuse, though it’s hard, we are still to forgive.

Do you want a family member blogging about everything you have done wrong over the years? Do you want someone else to bare your sins to the world? Do you want articles written about every time you said or did something hurtful, rude, or mean?

I know I don’t.

Isn’t it better to share in vague terms about evil or abuse and then write extensively on the beautiful, glorious work of God in your life?

Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

Pinterest help. Getting traffic. Christian writer.

What’s the Point of Pins?

I’ve been learning about Pinterest. And I’m sharing what I’m learning in hopes it will help others. I’m not an expert by any measurement.

I had a few readers tell me I should be on Pinterest. It would help get my blog articles “out there.” Pinterest would allow more people to hear what I have to say.

So I opened an account and began pinning.

I also began reading articles about Pinterest. I wanted to learn more about it.

It seems many of the articles are all about getting traffic on your boards. Not pinning good content. Simply pinning a bunch of pins and getting traffic.

One article I read said you should Pin 50-60 pins each day. That’s 350-400 pins per week. Who can possibly read that many articles or memes? Who can do that and have a life? The author said you don’t need to read all the articles or know what’s in them, just pin them if they look good.

She said the goal is to get more traffic, a lot more traffic. Thousands of pinners per day pinning your pins. Get people to repin more of your pins on their boards than they do other people’s pins. So you should pin pins on your boards from other pinners’ boards and hope they will pin your pins to their boards. Simple really.

But if everyone is repinning each other’s pins and no one is actually reading the articles…if no lives are being impacted or changed by what we write…if no one is being helped because they are so busy pinning other pins…if we as Christian bloggers are not glorifying Our Heavenly Father in what we write and share and pin…then what’s the point?

What is the point of pins?

What’s the point of writing a blog at all?

To get my name out there? To sell someone something they don’t need? The get them to like my writing? To share all the horrible things that happened to me and name names? To convince others to agree with my viewpoint regarding fashion or parents or politics?Matthew 6:33 www.kathleenbduncan.com

Shouldn’t we as bloggers who claim Christ be writing good content which helps others live better lives instead of simply chasing more pins, followers, and likes?

And as Christian who writes, shouldn’t I first spend time each day learning more about God?

Shouldn’t I first learn more about God by talking with Him and studying His Word? Shouldn’t I learn more about who He is, what He’s done, what He promises, and what our response to His truth should be? Shouldn’t I make knowing God and building my relationship with Him my priority?

And then write something of value.

Rather than writing to build a following or get more pins or like, perhaps I should write great content. Something that will bring others closer to God and help them live better lives. An article that will help us encourage one another in this world full of pain and heartache.

Whether I write about fashion, parenting, or great recipes, shouldn’t my first focus be on glorifying God in all I say and do? And in all I post or pin?

As a believer, as a follower of Christ, I am not my own. I am bought with a price. I was slave to sin – to pride, greed, lies, and self-promotion among other things – but now I am a servant of Christ. A child of God, yes! And a slave to righteousness.

Shouldn’t my words, written and spoken, reflect my position in Christ? Shouldn’t I care more about sharing the good news of the gospel of Christ than getting more pins?

What to do when you mess up. Parenting.

Past Mistakes

A friend asked, “What do you do? I mean with all the regrets, the mistakes? What do you do when you look back and see how much you messed up?”

I’ve made many mistakes. I’ve messed up often. In marriage. In parenting. In social situations. At church. At work. Maybe that’s why she asked me; she’s seen me mess up many times.

Once I forgot to make a wire transfer which resulted in my employer paying close to $5,000 in interest and fees. My boss’s response? “On a $125,000,000 account, that’s immaterial. You won’t forget again, will you?” He smiled kindly and said, “it’s okay. Go back to work. You are valuable here. One error won’t change that.” I never did make that mistake again. Nor have I forgotten it.

Not all my mistakes were immaterial.

And they weren’t all mistakes. Some were sin.

So, what do I do when I look back and see how much I’ve messed up? What do I do when I am grieved by my own behavior? When I am grieved by my sin?

1. I confess my sin.

Not everything was sin. But I must confess that which is sin as sin.

All sin is ultimately against God. When I sin, to be forgiven and cleansed, I must confess my sin to God. And often I have to confess to the person I hurt I hurt as well, but I’ll get to that in a moment. When I do confess, He forgives me.

(If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us. 1 John 1:8-10)

2. I accept forgiveness from God, forgiveness He freely gives to those who ask.

God’s Word tells us He will forgive us when we confess our sin. He will. Not He might. God will forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness when I confess my sin.

I must accept His forgiveness. I must accept that I am truly forgiven and cleansed. My sin has been removed from me as far as the East is from the West. I must believe and act upon this truth rather than beat myself up or walk in shame over my confessed sin. To do otherwise is placing myself above Him, saying He doesn’t really know what is best, that Jesus’ death wasn’t enough.

Once I am forgiven, I do not entertain shame or feelings of condemnation. In Christ I am no longer condemned. I may face consequences of my sin, yet I am forgiven.

(Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1)

3. I make amends to others whenever possible.

Making amends involves apologizing and asking forgiveness, confessing that what I did was wrong. It requires honestly identifying how I was wrong and doing what I can to make it right.

But making amends is more than just saying, “I’m sorry.” It involves doing what I can to make up for what I did that hurt someone else. If I owe someone money, I pay them. If I failed to uphold an obligation, I offer to do something else for that person.

Some mistakes cannot be undone; I can’t go back and be a better mom to my kids. But I can (and did) confess my sin, ask forgiveness, and I can be a better mom from now on. This is called a “living amends.”

Sometimes it’s not possible to make amends. Sometimes the other party is not willing. Sometimes I’ve lost touch with the person I hurt. But when I can, I must make amends.

4. I accept that I did the best I could at the time.

Yes, God always provides a way out of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13) and I did not take the way out; I sinned. I accept that. (By the way, acceptance in not the same as approval. I can accept what is without approving of my wrong thinking or behavior.)

Knowing, too, that nothing happens that doesn’t go through the loving hands of my Father, I accept my failings and faults even as I work to change. As He conforms me to the image of His Son.

And I know He will use all things for my good and the good of His Body, because He is good. Along the way there may be trials and pain, yet He is still good.

Though I can look back and see my error, my sin, I can look forward, knowing the loving, compassionate God is working in my life and in lives of those around me, my family and my neighbors. He will work all of this together for His glory and our good.

(And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28)

5. I change my way of thinking and living.

Yes, I confess my sin, I accept forgiveness, I make amends, and I accept what happened without condemnation or shame, but I must also change the way I behave towards others. I must change. Or I will go on hurting others, messing up, sinning.

Confessing my sin is not simply saying, “I did _____.” I must come to see my actions, words, and thoughts as contrary to God’s way of thinking, contrary to His commands. Contrary to His command to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love my neighbor as Christ loved me.

I must line up my thinking with His Word. My heart’s desire must be obedience to His Word. And when I change my desires, my way of thinking, I will change my way of living. This is true repentance: a changed heart, a changed mind, a changed way of living, knowing I am loved and forgiven by my Creator.

(From that time Jesus began to preach and say, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” Matthew 4:17)

6. I also pray for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (like the past and the choices of others); the strength to change the things I can (such as my thoughts, speech, and actions); and the wisdom to know the difference.

I’ve made many mistakes. I’ve sinned many times. I’ve hurt people I love: my husband, my children, my friends. I’ve hurt people I didn’t like, by being a jerk. By not loving others as Christ loved me.

I’ve had to humble myself and ask forgiveness many times.

I’ve accepted forgiveness and gone back to work, to the good works God prepared in advance for me to do. (Ephesians 2:10)

I’ve tried to make amends where possible.

I’ve accepted that when I mess up and repent I am not condemned, I do not accept shame.

I’ve changed my ways of thinking and am working on changing my behavior.

I’ve prayed The Serenity Prayer many times.

Many of my mistakes I won’t ever forget. Some of my sin I won’t forget. Some of my messes have long-term consequences. I know I am forgiven, and I don’t beat myself over these things, but I won’t forget some things I did or the harm I have done. Remembering my actions and the pain I caused myself and others helps me not do those things again.

That’s what I do when I look back and see all the mistakes I’ve made, when I see my sin. And I thank God for loving us enough to send Jesus to die for our sin, that we might become the righteousness of God.

Dear Momma Who’s Feeling Not Enough

Dear momma who’s feeling like you’re not enough,

You are.

You are enough.

Or rather, God in you is enough.

When you see another mom post everyday on social media about everything she did with her children, making everyday at her house seem unbelievably organized, perfect, and exciting, and her children seem unbelievably amazing…and you feel like you are not enough…like you could never be enough…

Maybe it seems unbelievably amazing because things may not have happened exactly the way she presents them on social media. Maybe her life is not that organized or exciting. Maybe her family is not practically perfect in every way.

She may have left a few things off. Like tears, disobedience, rebellion, and a little bit of pride. I mean in her, not the kids.

And then there’s the kids.

Maybe they don’t always have great attitudes. Maybe they don’t always complete every assignment or joyfully help around the house. Maybe they see things in their family very differently than she presents them on Facebook.

She may have embellished a bit. It may not be all peaches and cream.

 

Maybe her children are not all that and a bag of chips.

 

Maybe her husband isn’t as perfect as he seems on social media.

But maybe, just maybe, her students do wake up happy, make their beds and clean the house before feeding the animals and fixing breakfast. All before 7:00 am. Maybe her kids do every assignment – in pen – neatly without complaint. Maybe they do know all their spelling words. Maybe they never fight with their siblings. And maybe her husband is very helpful with housework and school and brings her flowers each evening.

But you know what? That’s not your house. It’s not your family. They are not your kids.

God gave you your house, your family, your kids.

He will equip YOU to teach and love YOUR family the way that is best for YOU.

So stop comparing. Stop trying to be someone else. Stop trying to do school or marriage or life exactly like that other family.

Be you. Enjoy your kids being your kids. Love your spouse. Serve God. Do what He shows you and your spouse to do without comparing your family to that other family.

Especially stop comparing the family you live with day in and day out with the view of that other family you get only from social media. Stop comparing your insides to their outsides.

Design

 

I Want to Be Famous…

I once asked seventeen-year-old Andrew what he wanted to do after school. What career did he plan to pursue? He was trying to decide which college to attend and what to major in.

He ended up at West Texas A&M University in Canyon, Texas, where he majored in dance and accounting. He loved that school. He was on track to finish both programs in four and half years. A BBA in Accounting and a BA in dance. Two degrees. With a very high GPA in both.

Andrew did not see Accounting as a "fallback" job option. He really enjoyed it! He liked studying business and even spoke of possibly going to law school one day. And he knew every theater and dance company needs a business manager. He knew he could earn a good living while pursuing his passion for dance.

In answer to my question, Andrew replied, "I want to be famous and make people happy."

No too long after The Accident I remembered the conversation and thought, "Lord, I guess that's not going happen. Right now everyone who knew him is grieving. He got hit by a truck and is dead. End of that dream."

Yet as we approach the fourth anniversary of The Accident, I realize God had a much bigger plan for my son all along. In both his life and his death, God was and is working to reach people and draw them to Himself.

Philippians 1:6 reminds us that God began a good work in us. He is the One working in us. This work will continue until the day Christ Jesus returns!

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 | ESV

The story of Andrew's life and The Accident have gone around the world.

In this blog alone, people from more than 135 countries have read stories about Andrew and the wonderful things that came from his death.

Here are the countries from which readers came in just the past three days:

I have no idea how far reaching my Facebook page, Twitter and Pinterest will be.

I don't believe God caused my son's death, but I know God does use ugly things in our lives for our good and ultimately for His glory.

In our own family we have seen beautiful things happen since that morning: Healing, forgiveness, recovery. Ron and I have walked through fire and have come out closer and more in love than ever. My walk with God is stronger than before. My other adult offspring are healthy than before, in many ways.

I've received messages from some of my son's friends who tell me they began making better choices, stopped binge drinking, went back to seeking God, and learned to forgive after The Accident.

The books I've written and Bible study Ron and I wrote have been read people from not only North America but also Africa, Europe, The Caribbean, South American, Australia, and Asia.

Andrew did not become famous in the way he wanted. But his name and his story are going around the world. His story is not only making people happy, his story – our story – has helped others find healing, hope, peace, and joy in Christ.

And for that, I am humbled and grateful.


This picture is of Andrew a few weeks before his death. He is in costume on the set of the show he was in that summer.

Thinking About Death

I think more about death now than I used to.

Not in a morbid way. More in a to do list kind of way.

I want to keep my junk drawers clean in case I die suddenly. And my closet. I want to be sure we don't have a bunch of unused stuff around the house. I mean, it was hard dealing with personal items at my dad's house and my in-laws' house. Cleaning out closets and junk drawers. Seeing all the little things they'd kept for no apparent reason. I don't want my kids to have to deal with so much stuff. So I've been cleaning out closets and junk drawers this past couple of years.

Our garage and workshop have only a few items we rarely use: camping equipment, extra bike wheels, etc. I try to keep it clean and the clutter to s minimum.

I think about my father-in-law's workbench. How neat it was. And the miscellaneous items left laying around. Left as if he'd just stepped away to grab lunch. But he never came back to finish.

I try to keep all the tools put away. And I try to finish a project rather than leave it undone. I don't want my kids to wonder what I was doing with the pliers and superglue left on the workbench. And I've gotten rid of much of the extra gardening tools, outdoor games, etc. that we don't use. To make it easier on my kids when they have to clean out our garage.

We have a gazillion books! I've been going through the bookshelves and taking books no one reads to the thrift store. Books that we love I'm keeping, even children's books. For the grandkids. But the books we bought for homeschooling which my kids didn't like? Those are going away. I don't want my kids to have to haul off boxes of books no one wants. And they don't sell for hardly anything at estate sales. So I'm giving those books away.

I've started on the kitchen cabinets. This is hard for me. China from my mom's house and from my grandmother. Blue bowls from Rita's. I know they won't mean much to my kids and we rarely use them, but I love them. So I'm keeping them. But I did get rid of the broken food processor and cheap fondu set we never actually used. As for all of our Starbucks mugs, well, Ron said the kids can fight over those.

But clothes and junk are not the hardest things to deal with when someone dies.

I think about the fact that I handle all the finances in our home. I'm a CPA. I'm home during most days. Ron works a demanding job. He travels and works odd hours. I can call on things like medical bills from an ambulance ride down the mountain. I know how much each bill usually is, and I recognize when a bill is out of line. I know when each bill is due. And I balance the checkbook. Would Ron be able to figure it all out without me?

I think about what would happen to this blog if I died suddenly. Would Ron or one of my kids post something or would the blog simply go silent? When I read about my blogger friend Linda having surgery next week, I wonder if her husband will let us know how she is. Of course he won't; she'll post a day or two after the surgery to let us all know she's healing.

But how can I learn what happened to other bloggers who just stopped writing? Are they okay? Or are they gone, like my son? No more Facebook posts. No more Pinterest pins. No more funny memes. What would happen to my social media accounts if I'm not here anymore?

What about my various email accounts? The gmail I use for business items like utilities and my website. The yahoo I use on sites that might send me too many advertisements after I order that gift for a friend or that cute shirt I wanted. The email account that came with our internet provider. The one I use for couponing. The one I actually look at and answer emails from. What if someone didn't know I was gone and sent an email? Would Ron know where to look? Would he answer them?

What about our car and life insurance? Would Ron know who to call to collect the insurance if something happened to me?

And maintenance on the cars, my tractor, various appliances. Does he know the last time I had the tractor engine worked on? Or who to call to help get the property mowed? He doesn't deal with repairs, so he wouldn't know who to have fix the dishwasher or water heater.

And so I've been working on a notebook.

I've begun to print off one quarterly statement for each of our various accounts: checking, savings, investments, flexible spending, retirement. Even though I manage our finances on-line, I can print one statement so he'll know who the account is with and the account number. I write the password and login for each on a sticky note.

I've printed off one month of each utility bill with the info he might need written on it. Cell phone, cable, water, etc. Some of these send paper bills; others send e-bills. I've noted on each whether to expect a statement in the mail or e-bill. I mark if the e-bill is paid automatically.

I've printed a list of various social media accounts I maintain with the passwords.

I've got a page with other information like who installed the sprinkler system and who helps me when a tree needs to be removed.

I'm planning to take pictures of items that are valuable or sentimental. Like art pieces from my mom or jewelry. I'll write about where they came from and why I care about them.

Some items will be designated to go to a specific person. Like the nativity set that had Yoda in it. Maggie has asked for it. It has no monetary value, but it matters to her.

I remember helping my stepmom after my dad died. And I remember helping take care of things after my sweet mother-in-law Rita died. Cancelling doctor appointments, turning off her phone, and closing bank accounts. I'm compiling the notebook because I want to make it as easy as I can for those left behind after I'm gone.

And we've been working on getting a new will.

Our children are all adults now, so we don't need to appointment a guardian. We have a more complicated financial situation than we used to, so we had to spell out how some assets would be liquidated. We had to specify how much, if any, went to give each child and grandchild. A copy of the will will be put in the notebook. And we've discussed it's contents with each of our children to avoid surprises.

We've also spoken with our financial advisor. Our retirement accounts and life insurance are handled by their office. They know who our lawyer is. They will be able to help our kids if necessary.

I sleep better knowing that I've done what I can to make things easier in the event that I die.

I know that when my body dies, I will immediately be in the presence of Christ. I will be Home.

I also know that dealing with your parent's death is hard. And emotional.

I want to help my children by taking care of what I can. It's one last act of love from their momma.

Read more by Kathleen B.Duncan on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/KathleenDuncanblog/

Programs

I was working out the other day. I was working out with a trainer who knows much more about exercise than I do. Why? Because she has experience, strength, and hope. She’s teaching me a program of weight training. She shows me the way to get stronger. One day at a time. Step by step. I’m getting stronger. 

And I got to thinking…

Why do we in the church not understand the need for for someone with an issue such as addiction to get help from a program?

I needed a program to get stronger.

Yes, I study the Bible, go the church, and pray. Yet I cannot learn how to deadlift, bench press, or back squat in the Bible or at church services. 

If I want to get stronger, I need help. I need help from someone who’s been there, done that, got the t-shirt and is willing to help me by walking beside me. So I work a program, and I listen to a friend who shares her experience, strength, and hope with me. And I get stronger. 

Many in the church go to a trainer to help them get physically stronger. 

Or an experienced accountant for financial help. 

Or weight Watchers or Nutrition Weight Center for help with losing weight (for their addiction to poor eating habits).

You say it’s great that someone in financial trouble gets helps from an experienced guy and starts a program of financial recovery. You’re encouraging when someone joins Weight Watchers and begins an eating program to lose weight. You cheer me on when I work a program of weightlifting with a trainer to get stronger. 

Why do you judge those Christians who have found hope and recovery in a 12-Step program?

If all that “those addicts and alcoholics” need in order to stop using drugs or alcohol (and to find recovery) is yet another church service or Bible verse, then why can’t you church people lose that extra twenty five pounds you’ve been carrying around for the past ten years, or get your finances in order, or run a marathon simply by going to church or reading another Bible verse?

Please tell me why it’s okay to seek help from “secular” programs in other areas of our lives but to join a 12-step program to overcome addiction is unacceptable?

Maybe I need to put on headphones and start listening to music while I lift instead of thinking.

Help in a Beautiful Way. And a hair cut.

I shared with a group about how our Life Group was helping a family whose husband/daddy is deployed. 

I took a signup sheet to class Sunday hoping we could get help mowing the lawn for them. I was hoping at least some of the weeks from July through September would be taken by volunteers. Ron and I planned to fill in as needed. 

Within ten minutes all spots were taken. We had to add weeks into October to make space for every family who wanted to help. 

Each family will take less than half a day out of four months to drive to this family's home, mow the front and back yard, and drive home. Less than half a day per family. To bless the family of an airman serving in the Middle Easy. Beautiful!

When I shared how pleased I was with my classes response, one friend commented, 

I remember one deployment growing up, my brother refused to get a hair cut. Boys did NOT go to the salon, he would not do it. My dad was coming home around Easter and one of the ushers at church commented on his hair and getting a haircut for Easter. My brother said "nope. Dad and I do that". The next weekend, said usher picked up my brother and off they went to the barber shop. 

Most of the time it's the seemingly little things that bless a family the most. What a beautiful way to serve that family!!!

Yes, it's the little things that add up over time to bless the socks off our military families. 

This particular family has four young daughters, two with special needs. Not having to deal with lawn care while dad is gone will make life easier. Each family doing a small thing adds up to huge blessings!

Oh, and a Bible study I'm a part of is  collecting gas cards to help with transportation. I'll be helping pick the girls up from various activities, but they don't know all the ladies in their momma's class. So the gals are helping in a small way, yet it, too, will make a huge difference. 

What small thing can you do for a military family today?

If you are a military family, what things helped you most?

Stop Hacking

This weekend a private message about not accepting private messages or friend requests from Jaydon Smith was going around Facebook. Why would I accept a friend request from that man? I don’t know him!  But thanks for the warning. 

The warning was nonsense. It’s an old spam thing. None of my friends who shared it took the 30 seconds to research it before sending the message on. Don’t be foolish! Research things before sharing. Help stop this stuff! And help stop hackers by not sharing junk like this!

I’m not an IT expert. But here are a few ways to stop/prevent being hacked. Any of my IT friends, please comment or share other things we should do. If you have post on the topic, please share a link in the comments. 

You can help stop hacking by doing the following:

1. Change your password frequently. 

2. Don’t accept friend requests from people you don’t know. 

3. Don’t share or “Copy and paste” posts about winning an RV, Disney cruise, $75 coupon, or free plane tickets! These are all fake!! (Look at the Profile. Often the post is the only one they have, they joined FB in the past year or month, the grammar is off, or it seems too good to be true.) Not only does sharing these help hackers, posting them makes you look foolish. 

4. Don’t share stories about being followed through a store or other sensationalist stories without first checking them out. (Try snopes.com or thatsnonsense.com) If the person posting has no friends, joined FB in the past year, had no other posts, IT’S FAKE! So many stories are “urban legends” designed to scare people or help hackers. Please, do your research!

5. Don’t ever pass on chain posts or chain private messages such as the one going around now about Jaydon Smith. (Will Smith’s son’s name, by the way.)

6. Before sharing a post about a lost child or missing person, check it out! Google it. Look at the date of the post; if it’s more than a week old, check to see if it’s real or if the person has been found.

7. Facebook Quizzes. Don’t take these quizzes. If you take a quiz, before you “Sign on with Facebook” look for the tiny “Edit”m click on it and uncheck Email Address, Friends List, and other items not needed for the quiz. Quizzes are a huge source of SPAM email.

8. If you do take a Facebook quiz..After you take the quiz, go to Settings, Apps, Logged on with Facebook and delete the app so it no longer gets info from your page.

Old vs. New

I’m reading a book about Joseph by Voddie Baucham.

He makes the point that we cannot truly understand the Old Testament unless we study it through the lens of the New Testament, the redemptive work of Jesus. The Old Testament is not just a bunch of stories to teach us good morals; the entire Word of God points to Jesus. We must study/teach the entire Bible with Christ as the center. 

The Old Testament points to the redemptive Jesus, salvation which available to Jews and Gentiles alike. Jesus is there from the beginning. We must keep this in mind when reading the Old Testament. 

This is a very different perspective from what I once heard in a Bible study. We were told that to understand the New Testament we must understand the Jewish feasts like Passover and Hanukkah. We should participate in them if possible. We need to go to Israel if we can or at least study all about the Holy Land to understand the New Testament. As if the New Testament is simply the fulfillment of the Old Testament and the Old is what’s really important. (By the way, Hanukkah is not a feast commanded by God.)

Yes, it would be wonderful to go to Israel. And I’ve enjoyed spending a Friday evening meal with our orthodox friends. Learning about some of the cultural customs does shed light on the Old Testament. 

But…

Should we read the New Testament primarily looking for ways it lines up with the Law and Prophets in order that we may live according the Law? Or do we study the Law and prophets to more clearly under who Jesus is and what He did for us? 

As a Gentile must I obey the Law and observe the many feasts in order to truly know God and understand His Word? Must I follow the Law and observe feasts to understand the gospels and epistles? Is it true that I cannot really understand the Bible without experiencing Jewish traditions? 

Do we study the New through the lens of the Old, through a Hebrew lens? 

To know Jesus must I know and even obey the Law? Or was the Law put in place as a tutor until the Messiah had come? 

Isn’t the whole Book about Jesus and His saving grace? Isn’t salvation a gift from God available to all who are called?

Must I go on a pilgrimage to Israel to understand the New Testament? Must I watch videos about the topography and traditions or study commentaries about the culture of the Middle East in ancient times to understand the New Testament? Must I immerse myself in Jewish tradition to be a Christian?

Again, I’d love to go to Israel. But the Word never requires Christians to obey the Law, be circumcised, make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem or observe the feasts. In fact, the book of Galatians addresses this very thing! 

As a child of God, I have the Word of God available to me and the Holy Spirit in me to teach me.

As a Gentile believer I am a joint heir with Israel. I am an adopted son of Abraham. I am an heir of Abraham. Abraham received the promise by faith not the Law. 

To become a child of God I must confess and believe that Jesus is Lord. I repent of my sin and accept the free gift of salvation – eternal life and adoption as a child of God. 

Out of my salvation will flow good works – I will abide in Him and He in me and I will obey the commandments to love God and love my neighbor. Flawed though I am, my desire will be to know Jesus Christ and the One who sent Him. This is eternal life.

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