Tag: Andrew Raymond Duncan

Andrew Raymond Duncan Memorial Arts Benefit

He looked great in a tux!
He looked great in a tux!
From advertising for the event:

In August, 2013 we in the arts community lost a very vibrant and talented friend and cast member just prior to his 21st birthday. Andrew Raymond Duncan will be remembered by those he touched for many years to come.

Please join us as the arts community joins together for the 2nd Annual Andrew Raymond Duncan Memorial Arts Benefit on January 3, 2015. This Collaborative Community Arts Event will feature the Wichita Falls Community Orchestra and many of the top vocal, musical, and dance talent in Wichita Falls sharing the same stage.

Proceeds go to support the ARD Memorial Scholarship Fund as well as WF Youth Symphony, Wichita Theatre, Backdoor Theatre, Wichita Falls Community Orchestra, Actors Creating Together.

What a great way to kick off your 2015 by supporting the WF arts community while having an INCREDIBLE night of entertainment.

Tickets available from the Wichita Theatre and the Backdoor Theatre.

8:00 Main Stage Show only —
www.wichitatheatre.com

5:30 Dinner Show And the 8:00 Main Stage Show —
Www.backdoortheatre.org

 

I am excited about this event honoring the memory of our son. It is the first time to ever have one event on the stages of the two theaters on one night.  Ever! These two groups have begun to work together as a direct result of Andrew’s death.  He did shows at both theaters and loved them both.  So it mean a lot to us to have them working together.

You can learn more on the Facebook Page: Andrew Raymond Duncan Memorial Arts Benefit

For those who are unable to attend the event and want to support Wichita Falls area Arts and provide scholarships to area college students, a GoFundMe account has been set up. Please consider making a donation today.

The link for the GoFundMe: http://www.gofundme.com/ARDMemorialArtsBen

 

 

 

Happy Birthday, Andrew

He looked great in a tux!
Senior Photo Shoot 2011
2010 Andrew, Peter, David, Adam, Margaret, Meredith, Elizabeth
Andrew being Andrew
Cinderalla
Hanging in the backyard
Senior Photo Shoot 2012
Fiddler on the Roof
As Benjamin in Joseph
Andrew being Andrew
Cats
Nutcarcker 2012
On Texas! Set
Pinning on my Eagle Mom pin
With Grandma Duncan
15th Birthday

Nutcracker

Nutcarcker 2012 Nutcracker 2012

He was the Dancing Bear
He was the Rat King
He was the Arabian Prince
He was the Snow King

He was giddy
He was proud
He was excited
He was wonderful

His first performance in The Nutcracker
The second weekend of December 2012
Just before his 20th birthday
With a professional dance company in Amarillo

We were proud for him
His father and me and all his siblings
The last time we were all together in one place
We loved watching him dance

The lifts!
The spins!
The jumps!
The joy!

Never again will he dance the Nutcracker
Never again will he be the Dancing Bear or Rat King or Arabian Prince or Snow King
Never again will he put on tights or ballet shoes or wear stage makeup
Never again will he enter stage left with his silly grin showing that he absolutely loves being a dancer, loves being on stage, loves performing

The Accident changed all of that

Now he dances for the King of Kings
He dances for the Prince of Peace
He dances for the Lord of Lords
He dances for the Great I Am

He dances with Arabians
And Israelites
And Somalis
And Spanish

He dances with Africans
And Asians
And Brazilians
And Cherokee

He dances with men from every tribe and tongue
From every race
From every color
From every nation

He dances with saints who walked with Moses
And Joseph
And David
And Matthew

With men and women who walked with Martin Luther
And John Wesley
And Corrie Ten Boom
And Dallas Willard

He dances with his Granddad Bailey
And his Grandma Duncan
And his infant niece or nephew
And the children of many of my friends

He dances for an Audience of One
The Three in One
The Holy One
The One who was and is and is to come

He dances in worship
He dances in truth
He dances in heaven
He dances in eternity

He dances in the presence of the Perfect One
Of the Compassionate One
Of the Holy One
Of the One who knew no sin but became sin so that we could become the Righteousness of God

He still dances
He still lives
He still has joy
He still grins

Some day we will join him
Some day we will stand before the throne
Some day we will be face to face with G~d
Some day our joy will be complete

Until then I am grateful that I got to see him dance the Nutcracker
Until then I have peace in grief
Until then I have healing and joy and love
Until then I will live today.

Graduation, Part Two

That’s not what happened.

I am okay with that.

Because I know that God knows what He is doing. God has a plan. His plans are not my plans. His ways are not my ways. He is wiser than I. He is loving and kind.

All of Andrew’s days were written in God’s book before one of them came to be.

I know that God is compassionate and gracious, abounding in love.

I got to be my son’s momma for more than 20 years. I got to watch him grow and become a young man full of life and joy. I got to see him bring joy to so many others! I am grateful for that. I thank God for that. I choose to be satisfied with that.

I cannot change it. So I must accept it. Accepting it makes it easier.

Knowing I serve a great and glorious God who loves me gives me comfort.

If you need comfort…If you need peace…if you are suffering…Talk to God. He is listening. He is there waiting for you to turn to Him. He loves you and wants to help you. Ask Him for help. Turn to Him today. He really is real. And living. And able.

Graduation

Andrew attended West Texas A&M University. He majored in Dance and Accounting. Two very different degrees.  He planned to complete them both in four and a half years.He made excellent grades in both departments.

Andrew should be graduating with his accounting degree this month.

No.  That’s not right.

If he had lived, Andrew would be graduating this month with his accounting degree.

No.  That’s not right either.

Before he died, Andrew was on track to finish his accounting degree this month.  He planned to then complete his dance degree over the next two semesters.  He might have changed his mind, or taken a year off, or gotten injured and not finished on that schedule.  But that was the plan. His plan.  Our plan with him.

Yes, that is the right way to say it.

But that’s not what happened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Joseph and His Technicolor Dream Coat

 

226317_1657189403127_32953_n
Andrew, senior year of high school

I went to the theater last night to see Joseph and His Technicolor Dream Coat.

My youngest was the stage director for this production (her first paid theater job). Andrew played Benjamin in this show about 5 years ago. This was the first show I’ve seen that he was in since his death other than the opening night of “Texas!” in May.  (I expected to cry through “Texas!” for obvious reasons and because this season was dedicated to the “Texas Angels”.)

But WOW! I did not expect last night to be so rough.

I went alone as Ron is out of town this weekend. But it had been a great day and I was feeling fantastic.  I have been to this theater so many times that I am comfortable going there alone. I thought I would go and just enjoy a fun night seeing the show Margaret had helped with. I had a great seat – seventh row on the aisle. I planned to move to the back of the theater for Act Two due to the song about Benjamin.  But I but would enjoy sitting closer for Act One.  I saw lots of friends before the show and was having a great time…until the music started and the curtain went up.

23454_1198715341562_3878650_n
Andrew as Benjamin

The tears began flowing the moment the overture started and I heard the tunes of two particular songs, both of which they had sung at the memorial.  I knew that Andrew had played Benjamin. I was prepared for the Benjamin song in the Act Two to be hard, but I forgot about another song in Act One, “One More Angel in Heaven”.

I was not prepared for both tunes to be part of the overture. Silly me!

When the overture played, images of him dancing and laughing ran through my mind. I smiled.  And the tears flowed. I let them flow. I thought I was going to be okay with just a fear quiet tears.  But into Act One, the characters came out in western wear singing “One More Angel in Heaven” and I lost it. I found myself quietly sobbing.  I knew my sobbing was about to get louder, so I got up and left the auditorium.  I NEVER leave in the middle of a show!  I think it rude to do that.  But it would have been more rude to sit there sobbing and sniffling and blowing my nose.

A few folks saw me in the lobby and asked if I was okay.  They did not know me, but when I explained that I was Andrew’s mom, they both said they had family in the cast and had heard about what a great guy he was. They each hugged me and said nice things.

After I pulled myself together, and after that song was finished, I went back in and sat by the rear exit.  I left during the Benjamin song in Act Two as well.  Once again I sobbed in the lobby, pulled myself together, and then reentered the theater.

For the rest of the show, I sat in the back and let the tears quietly run down my face while I smiled, laughed, and enjoyed a great show.

It was a great show! I laughed and smiled and enjoyed myself, even with the tears ruining my makeup.

I am glad I went. Really, I am.  The actors were great, vocals were great, and the new sound system was great. And of course, the stage managing was awesome!

After each show, the cast comes out and greets people in the lobby.  I hung around and said hi to friends, congratulated the cast, and told Margaret how proud I was of her.  Many cast members who had been in the show with Andrew mentioned him to me and talked of how difficult certain scenes were the first few run-throughs. Some mentioned how surprised they were that I had made it through the show.  I am glad I went.

A few things I learned or was reminded of last night:

    1. I am not done grieving and may never be.
    2. Grief will hit me in the gut sometimes.
    3. Grief may hit me hard even on fantastic days after a fantastic week when I am feeling fantastic.
    4. I should had thought it through more and sat in the back from the beginning.
    5. I must keep more than four tissues with me at all times.
    6. I am not done wearing water-proof mascara and need to buy more. (I am almost out and thought I was done with it.)
    7. Andrew is still remembered by many people.  Cast members who had done the show with him mentioned him after the show.  They came up, hugged me, and told me how special it was to be doing this one again.
    8. I am grateful for dear friends like the man who played Joseph (and saw my sobbing in the lobby) who are willing to give me a hug while I cry (even while in costume) without asking me what’s wrong or trying to make it better by talking.  He just hugged me and said, “I am so sorry”.
    9. I am not yet ready to see shows that Andrew was in.  Not yet.  At least not alone.
    10. I am not the only one who cried through those two songs.  Or through other songs. My son was, and still is, loved.
    11. I should not try to do hard stuff for the first time when Ron is out of town.  Or at least, I should wait to do those things when I can call him before I go to sleep and have him encourage me that I will survive.
    12. ALWAYS look in a mirror before going into Market Street late at night.
    13. I should never go grocery shopping at 11:00 pm after sobbing through a two hour show.  I LOOKED HORRIBLE!  Red, puffy eyes with mascara smeared all over. The cashiers probably though I was just another crazy old woman, drunk, buying bananas and yogurt before bed. (i was not drunk, I just looked it.)
    14.  God’s grace is sufficient even to get me through a great show without my son.  Even through sobbing.  Even through laughter.  Even through late night shopping trips.  Even through coming home to an empty house. God’s grace is now and always will be sufficient for me.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Cor 12:9-10 (NIV)

 

 

Nutcarcker 2012
Fiddler on the Roof
Senior Pictures
Hanging in the backyard
Cats
Andrew being Andrew
Cinderalla
Andrew being Andrew

First Day of School…

Senior Pictures
Senior Pictures

Facebook is covered with pictures of folks going back to school.

My son is not going back to college this year.  For the second year, he will be spending fall semester in Heaven.

Had he lived, he would be finishing his accounting degree at West Texas A&M University in Canyon, Texas, possibly with honors.  He was on Dean’s list. He would be graduating in December.  He would then continue with classes for another year to complete his BA in dance. He was a great student.  A prince of a student.  A prince of a guy.

Andrew loved both accounting and dance. Accounting was not a “fall back” for him.  He knew that every dance company and theater company needs a business manager.  With his accounting degree, additional business classes and theater/dance experience, he would be perfect for the job.  While working to continue in his performance career, he could earn money and help the company as the business manager. He also knew that he could only dance for so long and then would need another career.  Again, he could continue to be a part of the industry with the business degree and experience.

Am I sad that he is not at WT this semester?  Of course!  It cuts through me in ways I cannot express. But I know he is in the presence of Christ!  And his completing the degrees is no longer in the plan.

Was it ever in God’s plan?  I don’t know.  I cannot speak to that.  Some parts of theology elude me.  I am not sure what was God’s Plan.

But I know that God was not surprised by what happened.  He did not look down from Heaven and stare in shock at The Accident site.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Psalms 139:13-16 (NIV)

 

I choose to believe.  I choose to trust God.  I choose to believe and trust God because of what He wrote in His Word.  I cling to His Word.  God knew about The Accident before it happened.  He could have stopped it, but He did not.  I trust Him.  I trust that He loves me and loves Andrew and loves our whole family.  I trust that He will work even this out for my good because I love Him and am called according to His purposes.

And I choose to rejoice in my boys starting OU last week – one on the rugby team; one on the cheer squad, both studying mechanic engineering.  I choose to rejoice that Lyz is starting her first day at the School for Little People.  She is an awesome teacher!  I rejoice that she is healthy enough to work there – a huge improvement over last year.  I choose to rejoice that Adam is starting a new semester of coaching gymnastics at Twistars.  I choose to rejoice that Margaret is staying home this semester and taking time off from school. I choose to rejoice that Meredith is able to stay home and homeschool my grandsons.  I thank God for her amazing husband Mark.

But…

The pictures of others people’s sons going to school today cut my heart and make me so sad.  The pictures of Andrew’s friends heading back to class……..

I choose to stay off Facebook today, the first day back to school.

 

Everyone Goes to Mick’s – Remembering Andrew Duncan

1header

Our friend Mickey Jordan owns a wonderful place called “The Casablanca” at Lake Diversion about an hour from our home.  He hosts great parties and events for all ages –  all set in the 1950’s and now 1960.  Andrew was a part of The Casablanca.

Mickey and Andrew were friends from the moment they met doing “Pirates of Penzance” in the summer of 1956 (2010). They worked on many other shows together.  Andrew loved going to The Casablanca for Thanksmas, Spring Dances, summer movie nights and any other time he could.  He felt loved there and always had a great time.  He came home with many stories – some he never told me, but I found out about later – like the picture in the blog of him with an unlit cigarette!

On August 15 last year, Mickey wrote a beautiful blog about Andrew.  Included is a video of Andrew dancing at one of Mick’s parties.

Thank you, Mickey, for this tribute to my son.  Thanks for loving him well. And thanks for being a friend to our whole family.  So glad you went to Florida with the crew and watched over Margaret.  I hope you will still drop by sometimes, even after all my kids have moved away.

Everyone Goes to Mick’s Blog – Remembering Andrew Duncan

 

12 Second Warriors, again

Last fall, I posted the following article about the 12 Second Warriors.

This group of young people continue to amaze me.  I have seen some of them a few times over the past years and have followed many on Facebook.  They have gone on to thrive after a horrible ordeal.  They have continued or finished school, gone to jobs and graduate school, performed, loved, gotten married, and simply lived.  Some are performing again this summer in Texas! The Musical. 

Timothy is recovered for the most part and is back to choreographing and dancing.

They have loved me and loved the other parents well. 

Here is the story of the 12 Second Warriors.

1068996_10151768592921306_1581650137_n

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————

The group of young people involved in the 2013 Musical Texas! are remarkable.

Not only are they remarkable actors, singers, dancers and crew, they are remarkable people who made it through a remarkable event that no young person should ever have to deal with. They lost five friends in one horrible moment on August 12. A sixth was injured and faces months of recovery. On August 14 they performed the show in front of friends and family. Through tears and pain they gave it their all. They performed for the public a few more times that week to finish out the last 12 seconds of the most difficult summer of their lives.

They have taken on the motto of “12 Seconds Left”.

Here is an explanation of what that means written by one of their own. Please take time to read it.

What does “12 Seconds Left” mean?

By Victoria Olivier

August 29, 2013 at 10:33pm

I have never seen so much rain during a TEXAS summer as I have this season. Three – count ’em, THREE – shows were rained out. Unbelievable. During the Overture of the second of these shows, the rain began to pour down. The cast, instead of groaning and forcing the smile to stay on our faces, began to laugh and enjoy ourselves. We were out there, we might as well make the most of it. We performed the entire overture in the rain.Well, almost the whole overture.

At the top of the “We Invite You All To Come To Texas” Reprise, the last number in the overture, the lights went out on us. After we had danced the hardest choreography in the overture for one of the most supportive audiences we had ever performed for, management cut the lights on us. We understood it was for our safety, but we had already come so far, and we just wanted to finish the song! Many chorus members and dancers continued performing even as they ran offstage, hoping to give this wonderful audience the show they came to see. As we ran off stage, soaking wet and panting, we simultaneously laughed and vented our frustrations.

“Come on!” we yelled. “We only had twelve seconds left!”

Early on the morning of Tuesday, August 13th, we were told that five of our cast members had died in an accident with a tractor-trailer coming back from the cast party, Julian Arredondo, Clint Diaz, Andrew Duncan, Eric Harrison, and Amanda Starz. The sixth, Tim Johnson, was in critical condition in the hospital. The news was absolutely crushing. For a few solid hours, we held each other up as we cried for the loss of our friends – not even friends, our family. Our bodies and our souls ached. I will never forget the screaming and the sobbing I heard and contributed to that night. As I recall the communal anguish of the cast, crew, and friends of those involved in the crash, my heart is pounding and my chest feels like there is a cinder block sitting on it. No one should ever have to feel what we felt. All I could think about was the regret. I thought of how Clint and I only really hung out once over the whole summer, even though we had talked about it for ages. I thought of the coffee date Julian and I had set up for Tuesday morning. I thought of the heart to heart Andrew and I had at the cast party, and how I felt our friendship had truly started on that day. I thought of how Eric had asked if he could ride back to Canyon with me from the party, and chose to ride with Clint instead. I thought of how Tim always wanted to have me come to more of his dance classes, and I didn’t. But worst of all, I thought of how I barely even knew Amanda. I was angry, sorrowful, and in shock. And I was not alone. The TEXAS family hurt as one that night. Thankfully, we allowed ourselves to smile and even laugh a little before we finally crawled home to try and sleep. Most of us were not successful in that endeavor.

The next day, the cast was called together to decide the future of the season. We only had four shows left, since the one for that night was cancelled. When I walked into that room, I was under the impression that we were all on the same page. After all, if theater people are famous for anything, it is for our perseverance in the face of adversity – “the show must go on.” I was surprised to discover that this was not the case. Many people did agree that the show indeed must go on, but some only wanted to do one show. Some did not want to continue at all. More tears were shed, tempers flared, and pleas for understanding were both heeded and ignored. Eventually, we decided to perform one private show for friends and relatives, and the rest of the season would go as planned. No one was required to stay for any of these shows.

One of my friends stood up and reminded us of the night the overture was cut short before we could finish. This guy is happy all the time, and to see him hurting caused me even more pain. However, smiling through his tears, he recounted the events of that night, and said “We only have twelve seconds left. Let’s finish it for them.” If I wasn’t completely convinced that I had to finish out the season before, I was then. I knew at that moment that I had no choice. Had any of those six people been in our place, and any of us in theirs, I know for a fact that they would want to finish the show for us. This could not have happened to six more loving, talented, dedicated, and passionate people, and I know that they would have pushed through to the end for us. In fact, the families of each of the five people we lost was so happy that we had decided to continue the show – they said that it’s what their child would have wanted.

Wednesday night, we showed up to the canyon, terrified of the show we were about to attempt. I know I was shaking almost the whole time I was getting ready. Before the show, the chorus always has a “hands in” moment, and the phrase is always something funny or motivational to get us going. That night, it was “12 seconds left.” And it was for every night following.

No one was ready for the emotions that flowed out of us, like the rain that poured down all night. Performing a show with empty spots and stand-ins only reminded us of who should have been there. Certain moments of the show felt almost impossible to complete without our lost friends. Andrew wasn’t there to wink at me in Folklorico. Watching DJ dance without Amanda was heartbreaking. Every moment without Tim left me feeling lost and sad. Even backstage, their absence was painfully obvious. Before every show, Clint always gave me a hug and he looked for some way to compliment my makeup or my voice or just say how much he loved me. I ran offstage after Plum Pickers and fell to the ground, knowing Julian wouldn’t be there to unhook my dress and comment on how lucky he was. I almost expected Eric to be hanging out backstage to hug us and tell us how well the show was going, and how much he missed doing Twelfth Night with me. The audience cheered for us through their own tears, knowing that at times, their support was the only thing getting us though the moment. Everyone was emotionally compromised. We held each other, knowing that if we didn’t we might break apart.

But we made it. Even with the rain, the tears, the heartache, and the pain, we actually made it through what turned out to be the most beautiful and the hardest performance of our lives. More people left the next day. We banded together and promised to finish the season – to bring ourselves peace, to give the audience a show they’d never forget, and to honor the lives of our angels. We learned Tim was doing better, and it spurred us on. The shows got easier to do. We learned to use and push through our feelings. Before every show, we renewed our promise – 12 seconds left. When the end of the season came, we knew none of us would ever be the same, but we knew we were a strong, loving, and resilient family. I will forever hold each member of the TEXAS 2013 cast and crew in my heart. I know our angels were with us every step of the way, and I know they are still with me now. They will be with me always. Tim gets better every day, and it makes my heart soar to get updates from him. I cannot wait for the day that he dances again, and I know Clint, Julian, Andrew, Eric, and Amanda will be there to hold him up and inspire him.

So when you see the hashtag #12secondsleft on Facebook, this is what it means. It means sticking with it when the going gets tough. It means finishing strong, even when you feel like you’ve got nothing left. It means supporting your family when they are in need. It means smiling bigger, singing louder, and dancing harder. It means never taking your friends for granted. It means loving the people in your life, no matter how often you get hurt.

But most importantly, it means never forgetting. Clint, Julian, Andrew, Amanda, and Eric – my angels. I will never forget you. Thank you for being my inspiration.

I am not okay. Not yet. But I will be, because I know you will be there for me. I can push through this.

After all … it’s only 12 seconds.

Think about your own life. What have you struggled with? What challenges do you face today? Can you make it through for just 12 more seconds? If so, can you make it for 12 more after that? Take it moment by moment, day by day. You can make it through.

In the days after the accident, when asked how I was doing, I often answered, “I am breathing.” I had to take it moment by moment, breath by breath. Soon I was taking moment by moment and a day at a time. I still have my moments when I am overcome with grief and sadness.

But I know God is with me every step of the way. He will be with you as well if you ask Him to be. Will you ask now?

How else will you make it through the next 12 seconds?

12 Seconds Left

“It should not have been Andrew”

Friends have said, “it should not have been Andrew !”

I say, “then who would you have chosen?”

Recently I walked past the pictures we took the last time we were all together in December 2012. Everyone is smiling and genuinely happy. We had a great time together that weekend at Grandmother Estes’s 100 birthday, celebrating Christmas and seeing Andrew as a professional dancer in Nutcracker. (My kids are all gorgeous in those pictures, by the way!)

Then there are the pictures from last month. Again we are together and genuinely happy.

The whole family!  The little boys are wearing Batman shirts in memeory of their Uncle Andrew
The whole family! The little boys are wearing Batman shirts in memory of their Uncle Andrew. Photo by AEW Photography, Used by permission.

No, Andrew is not in the picture. But he is not missing. He is not lost. He is exactly where he is supposed to be. He is where he should be. He is in the presence of Christ. He is the center of God’s will, doing what he was made to do: worship The Creator with his whole being, in spirit and in Truth.

Where am I today? Where are you today? Are we doing what we are supposed to do? Are we doing God’s will today?

Will you worship God in spirit and truth with me today regardless of circumstances and pain?

While we wait for Christ’s return, let us live well today, my friends.

Some of the links on KathleenBDuncan.com are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, this site could earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.
Copyright © Kathleen B Duncan 2021. All rights reserved.
Website management and design by Go Forth Online Now go Forth Online Now
and their associates.

Get the Newsletter!