Tag: Grief

Songs

Sitting here wasting time. At half past midnight.

I don’t want to be awake but don’t want to sleep.

Songs going through my mind.

Songs I used to love.

Songs we played at the funeral.

Heard one in a store yesterday. Heard another in a commercial tonight.

If I ever plan another funeral, I’m choosing hymns I hate and songs that are extremely unpopular. Songs that are never sung in church. Songs that no radio station plays.

Hearing songs from your loved one’s funeral in commercials or while shopping can hit you in the gut and cause waves of painful grief to overcome you.

Good night, my friends. Many of you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Thank you, Lord, for those who walked this road before me.

From October 2013. Just two months after our son died. Friends shared their journey with us

Thank you, Lord, for all the godly people You have put in our lives who have walked this road before us. Seeing Your Truth in their lives helps me believe Your Truth in my life.

Source: Thank you, Lord, for those who walked this road before me.

A Captive Was Set Free!

Some of you have read my story. I had no desire to write or blog, but I started writing due to a tragedy. I ended up with a book contract.

This weekend I spoke at an international women’s conference. Another thing I hadn’t pursued.

I led a couple of small workshops yesterday afternoon.

In one workshop on finding peace in grief we went through various passages looking at what we could learn about God. We underlined the word Lord and any pronouns referring to Him. Then we created a chart titled Truth About God for Troubled Hearts with four columns labeled:

  • Who God Is – His nature, His character traits, any names or titles given in the passage
  • What – what God has done for us or what He does for us
  • Promises – what He promises to do for us
  • Me – my response to the truth, what is required of me, how to apply these truths in my life

One of the passages we studied was Psalm 103. We looked at the whole psalm, but something special happened when we got to verses 8-10.

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” Psalm 103:8-10

We discussed that Jesus paid for our sins on the cross. All of them. We are forgiven if we are in Christ, if we believe in Jesus. God does not punish us for our sins, because they are forgiven. We may face natural consequences of our actions which hurt, but they are not punishment from God for our sin.

One older lady in the front row began to cry, tears running down her face. They continued to fall through the rest of the seminar.

We continued with the lesson, but I talked to her after. I asked her what was wrong.

“I’ve always thought my husband’s death was my punishment for my sin. I am a Christian but have done ugly things in my life. For seven years I’ve thought I’d have to live the rest of my life with the guilt and shame of being the cause of his illness,” she said through her tears.

“But you know God doesn’t repay us according to our sins? You know that because of Jesus, you are forgiven? You know God doesn’t punish you for sins that have been forgiven?” I gently asked.

She looked up at me with tear-stained cheeks, peace in her eyes, and a joyful smile on her sweet face, and said, “I do now.”

This woman was set free from guilt and shame by truth she learned for herself directly from God’s Word.

God’s Word matters. It’s true! It will set people free!

This is why I write and do what I do. Not to gain followers or get likes. But to help hurting people heal and to see captives set free!

.

Special Days. I have no words.

Each day.

Every. Single. Day.

It seems that every day is another day in which a friend has to face their child’s birthday without her.

Or her parents’ anniversary knowing one is gone to heaven and the other is struggling to learn to live alone after decades together.

Or it’s The Day. The day their child saw Jesus face to face and his parents learned of his death.

Or the day she buried her beloved husband after his prolonged illness. So many of my friends are widows. Too many.

Those special days. Each one a reminder of what we had. What we have no longer.

I’ve written, “I’m so sorry for your loss” more times than I can count. I’m sick of hearing those words. I’m sick of saying those words. But there are no other words no words to express this emotion we feel when we know very well some of what they face every single day.

I’m sorry your baby was born straight into the arms of Jesus.

I’m sorry the love of you life isn’t here if planet earth any longer.

I’m sorry you’re facing another birthday with her. What are birthdays like in heaven anyway? I wonder.

I’m sorry.

I’m so very sorry.

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

Death sucks.

I am grateful Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the LIFE.”

In His death, He gave life eternal. Glory!

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” John 10:27-30 | ESV

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26 | ESV

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” John 14:6-7 | ESV

These words give comfort.

Selfishness while suffering. Philippians. Bible study

Selfishness while Suffering

I’ve heard many times, “You do whatever makes you feel better.” But what makes me feel better in the short term is often detrimental in the long term.

Instead of taking my own counsel and doing what I think is best, I have found it advisable to study God’s Word, seek His wisdom, and follow His instructions while crying out to Him for help and comfort.

No where in scripture have I found exceptions to His instructions such as, “Be kind and compassionate to one another except when you are suffering.” Or “Bear one another’s burdens except when you are grieving.”

I believe God is supremely wise. He knows what we need to heal, what will help us in our suffering. He knows that reaching out and helping others will ultimately help us as well.

Yes, there is a time to weep and mourn. There is a time to rest. Even so, a time comes when we must step out of our own safe place and love others, serve others, comfort others even as we suffer. We must share the comfort we have received from God, in whatever measure we have received it, with those around us who are hurting.

Some of the most beautiful servant-hearted people I know help others despite their own pain and suffering. They still grieve. They still suffer. Yet they are farther along this path and reach back to show others a way to healing.

I want to be like them.

Some of the links on KathleenBDuncan.com are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, this site could earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.
Copyright © Kathleen B Duncan 2021. All rights reserved.
Website management and design by Go Forth Online Now go Forth Online Now
and their associates.

Get the Newsletter!